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Abby – The Fatigues

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Played by: A.J. Langer

Appears in The Fatigues

Jerry dates Abby and is interested to learn that she has a mentor. When he meets Abby’s mentor, Cynthia he finds out she is actually dating Bania. After seeing Bania’s act, Abby loses respect for her mentor and eventually fires Cynthia which causes her to dump Bania causing him to turn to Jerry for advice, and Jerry agrees to be his mentor. At the same time, Abby looks for a mentor and ends up choosing George. 

Abby Quotes:

Abby: My mentor says the duck is outstanding here.
Jerry: I’m not really a duck fan, the skin seems sort of human.
Abby: Oh! Look who’s here, Cynthia!
Cynthia: Hello, Abby.
Abby: Hello. Jerry, this is Cynthia Pearlman, my mentor.
Jerry: Hello.
Cynthia: Hi Jerry, nice to finally meet you.
Abby: Well come join us, we could pull up a chair.
Cynthia: Great, my boyfriend’s just parking the car. Actually, Jerry, you night know him, he’s a comic too.
Jerry: No kidding?
Cynthia: Kenny Banya.
Jerry: Banya?

Abby: I think there’s a dead animal in the elevator.
Kramer: My stuffed cabbage!
Abby: So, great dinner last night.
Jerry: Yeah, it was alright.
Abby: I told Cynthia we’d double with her and Banya Saturday and then catch his act.
Jerry: No. No, no way, no Banya.
Abby: What?
Jerry: Have you seen his act? He’s got a twelve-minute bit about Ovaltine. He’s a punk, a patsy, a hack.
Abby: Cynthia would not date a hack.
Jerry: Would. Does. Is.

Jerry: So you saw Banya’s act?
Abby: He got two minutes into that Ovaltine thing and I just couldn’t take it anymore.
Jerry: I told you, it’s like getting beaten with a bag of oranges.
Abby: Why is he so obsessed with Ovaltine?
Jerry: He just thinks that anything that dissolves in milk is funny.
Abby: Anyway, Cynthia and I got into this big argument afterwards and I think it’s over.
Jerry: No more mentor?
Abby: Looks that way.
Jerry: Well at least you and I are okay again.
Abby: Actually I was kind of thinking that maybe we shouldn’t see each other for a while.
Jerry: Why?
Abby: Well I’m feeling a little disoriented. It’s just weird for me not to have an advisor.
Jerry: I can tell you what to do.
Abby: No, it’s more than that.
Jerry: I can tell you what to think.
Abby: I need someone I can trust.
Jerry: Oh.

Abby: I gotta run anyway.
Jerry: I can’t believe you feel you really need a mentor.
Abby: I just need someone who can give me some kind of direction. I’ll see ya.
Jerry: Yeah, see ya.

Abby: And you’re sure with your busy schedule you’d have time to take on a protge?
George: I’ll make time, because Abby, I was once like you; wide-eyed, naive, I didn’t know the first thing about a subject as fundamental as risk management.
Abby: I’m not familiar with that, you’ll have to explain it to me.
George: I’ll tell you what, why don’t you read this book and let’s just see if you can explain it to me.
Abby: Alright.
George: Okay.

Jerry: George Costanza is your mentor?
Abby: Yeah, he’s great! I am learning so much.
Abby places her risk management folder on the table.
Jerry: About what? How to calculate five percent of a restaurant check?
Abby: You know what your problem is? You just have no respect for the mentor/mentor relationship.
Jerry: As a matter of fact, I happen to have a protg of my own.
Jerry places his Banya folder on the table.
Abby: Who?
Jerry: A Mister Kenneth Banya.
Abby: Banya?
Jerry: I’m gonna mentor this kid to the top.
Abby: Huh, well, I don’t think I want to date a mentor whose protg is a hack.
Jerry: Well, I don’t think I want to date a protg whose mentor is a Costanza.

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