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Audrey – The Nose Job

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audrey-the-nose-job-seinfeld

Played by: Susan Diol

Appears in: The Nose Job

George thinks that his girlfriend Audrey is beautiful, except for her large nose. During a conversation about beautiful women, Kramer bluntly tells her she needs a nose job. Audrey ends up getting the procedure done, but they butchered the job. George ends up dumping her before she gets the nose fixed but soon realizes he made a big mistake when Kramer takes Audrey on a date to the Reggae Lounge and looks amazing.

Audrey Quotes:

Audrey: It’s amazing how many beautiful women live in New York. I actually find it kind of intimidating.
Kramer: Well, you’re as pretty as any of them, you just need a nose job.
Elaine: Kramer!
Kramer: What? What?
Elaine: How could you say something like that?!
Kramer: What? What do you mean? I just said she needs a nose job.
Elaine: No no, there’s nothing wrong with her nose! I’m so sorry, Audrey.
Audrey: No, it’s ok.

 

Audrey: You look like you’ve got something on your mind.
George: Oh, yeah, right. I wish I had something on my mind. So how about that Kramer, huh?
Audrey: How about him?
George: They way he just says stuff.
Audrey: He sure does.
George: Yeah. Yeah, he’s quite a character.
Audrey: So, what did you think?
George: About the pizza?
Audrey: No, about the nose job.
George: Oh, the nose job. I don’t know, what did you think?
Audrey: Well, I’ve thought about it, but I don’t know.

 

Audrey: Remember we talked about taking a trip together?
George: We did?
Audrey: Yeah, we talked about going to Hawaii?
George: Hawaii?
Audrey: Anyway, I think it would be great to get away after all this.
George: You know, Hawaii could be a little tricky right now, there’s a lot of high pressure winds down there this time of year, there’s a lot of debris constantly flying around. Wood, and uh, lava, pretty dangerous.
Audrey: I never heard that.
George: Oh yeah. My friend lived there.
Audrey: We could go to the Caribbean.
George: You know, I have to tell you something. You couldn’t get me on a plane right now. I get those FAA reports directly. My uncle sends them to me, he used to be a pilot, so. Big investigation in the, uh, what’s the word there, uh, offing. It’s in the offing. But, you know, you shouldn’t let that stop you from going. You could go. I don’t mind.
Audrey: George, I don’t think this is working.

 

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