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Cheryl – The Visa

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cheryl-the-visa-seinfeld

Played by: Maggie Han

Appears in: The Visa

George meets Cheryl, an Asian lawyer and cousin to Ping the Chinese food delivery boy, who thinks he is very funny. When he plans a double date with Jerry and Elaine, he is afraid that he will be upstaged by Jerry’s humor. While she is in the bathroom, George gets Jerry to promise that he will try hard not to be funny around her. Jerry attempts to do this when Cheryl returns, but gives her the impression that he is dark and disturbed, which attracts her even more.

Cheryl Quotes:

George: So you’re a lawyer. What kind of cases do you handle?
Cheryl: Oh, everything. Divorce, patents, immigration and naturalization.
George: What is that, immigrants come over, you show them how to act natural?
Cheryl: Are your friends as funny as you?
George: No, they’re not funny at all. No, I have no funny friends. I’m the funny one. El Clowno.

 

Elaine: Oh, Cheryl, can I ask you a legal question? Um, I’m being sued.
Cheryl: Oh? What happened?
Elaine: Well, I ran out to apologize to a virgin and I crossed against the light and I knocked over the delivery boy.
Cheryl: Was he Chinese?
Elaine: Yeah.
Cheryl: Is your last name Benes?
Jerry: How did you know?
Cheryl: Ping is my cousin!
Elaine: No!
Jerry: That’s so funny!
Cheryl: I’m handling his case!
Elaine: What? You’re Cheryl Fong?
Cheryl: That’s right!

 

George: Jerry?
Cheryl: I’m very attracted to him.
George: You think the person you were talking to is him? That’s not even close to him. He’s funny, Jerry’s funny.
Cheryl: He never said anything funny.
George: He can’t not be funny.
Cheryl: No no no, he’s dark. And disturbed.
George: Dark and disturbed? His whole life revolves around Superman and cereal. I convinced him to act like that so that you would think I was funnier. That’s how disturbed I am! If you want disturbed, that’s disturbed. You can’t find sickness like that anywhere, you think sickness like that grows on trees? Nobody is sicker than me, nobody. He’s pretending, I’m the genuine article.
Cheryl: So you’re telling me Jerry’s whole thing was an act?
George: Yes! And I put him up to it, because I’m sick! I’m the one that needs help.
Cheryl: I gotta go.
George: Well, should I call you later?
Cheryl: Please don’t.

 

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