Darren the Intern is a student who attends NYU, he’s a real go-getter who becomes the personal secretary for Kramer at Kramerica Industries. Darren is played by Jarrad Paul.
Darren the Intern Appears in:
Kramer gets tired of seeing all his great ideas implemented by other people before he has a chance to develop them. He believes all his day to day activities keep getting in the way of him realizing his ideas.
“Do you have any idea how much time I waste in this apartment?”
To help unburden himself, Kramer decides to hire an intern from NYU to help him run Kramerica Industries, a company he previously started to develop his ideas.
“Oh, hey, I’m Darren. I’m new here.”
Darren becomes totally committed to Kramer and Kramerica Industries, meticulously taking notes and scheduling lunches.
“Hi, this is Darren from Kramer’s office. Mr. Kramer would like to schedule a lunch with you at Monk’s coffee shop.”
NYU ends up taking Darren away from Kramer, pointing out that Kramerica Industries consists only of a solitary man with a messy apartment, which may or may not contains a chicken.
“And with Darin’s help, we’ll get that chicken.”
Darren eventually comes back to Kramerica Industries on his own because he believes in the cause.
“What about the oil tanker bladder system? We were going to put an end to maritime oil spills.
It is implied that Darren is arrested at the end of the episode after they test their oil bladder system out the window of George’s office at Play Now Sports.
“Darren is going away for a long long time.”
Darren the Intern Quotes:
Kramer: …So that’s the bedroom. Here’s the bathroom. If you need to, you can familiarize yourself with the kitchen…Yeah, go ahead and look through some of the drawers.
Jerry: And you are?
Darren: Oh, hey, I’m Darren. I’m new here.
Kramer: Yeah, that’s Jerry, you don’t have to worry about him. Why don’t you go across the hall and get started on that mail?
Kramer: He’s a go-getter!
Jerry: Who’s he?
Kramer: My intern from NYU. Well, you remember my corporation, Kramerica Industries.
Darren: Hi, this is Darren from Kramer’s office. Mr. Kramer would like to schedule a lunch with you at Monk’s coffee shop.
Jerry: Really? When?
Darren: In 10 minutes. Do you need directions?
Jerry: No, I don’t.
Darren: Well, I’ll call back in 5 minutes to confirm.
Kramer: Yeah, 5.
Jerry: Hello Darren, this is Jerry from Jerry’s office. We’re going to be three for lunch. What do you mean he’s already left?
Jerry: Do you have to write all this stuff down?
Darren: Well, Mr. Kramer is in a meeting with Mr. Lohmase and he didn’t want to miss anything.
Jerry: So, how hot did it get?
George: I don’t know, 120, 130…Then they sent some guys to sandblast for 6 hours. Tomorrow they are putting in asbestos.
Jerry: I guess you can take anything, but actual work.
George: Bring it on!
(Kramer walks in)
George: Hello-o-o-o Kramer!
George: La la la.
Kramer: Sorry I couldn’t get out of there, what did I miss?
Darren: Well, after ordering, Mr. Seinfeld and Mr. Costanza debated whether or not iron man wore some sort undergarment between his skin and his iron suit…
Kramer: Uh huh…
George: And I still say he’s naked under there!
Jerry: Oh that makes a lot of sense.
George: Oh, shut up!
Darren: …Then Mr. Seinfeld went to the restroom, at which point Mr. Costanza scooped ice out of Mr. Seinfeld’s drink with his bare hands using it to wash up then Mr. Costanza remarked to me, “This never happened.”
Kramer: Darren? What are you doing here? The college canceled the internship.
Darren: I don’t care about the internship. I care about Kramerica.
Kramer: Kramerica is no more.
Darren: What about the oil tanker bladder system? We were going to put an end to maritime oil spills.
Kramer: Probably. Darren, you go home. Forget about Kramerica.
Kramer: Well, you’re still here?
Darren: I haven’t had time to leave.
Kramer: Well, I haven’t changed my mind.
Jerry: Whatever happened to Darren?
Kramer: Darren is going away for a long long time.