» » David Puddy – Feels Like An Arby’s Night

David Puddy – Feels Like An Arby’s Night

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David Puddy is Jerry’s auto mechanic and a frequent love interest of Elaine’s, played by Patrick Warburton. Elaine and Puddy break up and get back together so frequently that it becomes a running joke.

Puddy is originally from New Jersey and is a huge fan of the Devils. He like Arby’s, is a fan of Christian rock music, is a recovering germaphobe, and is guilty of overusing the high-five.

David Puddy appears in:

The Fusilli Jerry

Elaine starts dating Jerry’s mechanic, David Puddy, and on their first night in bed, he uses a sex move that she recognizes as Jerry’s. When she tells Jerry that David Puddy stole his move, he is appalled and finds someone else to fix his car.

So Puddy stops doing the move and starts using one of George’s old moves instead. But when Jerry learns that the new mechanic ripping him off, he takes his car back to Puddy.

“Do you know what a good mechanic is worth? You can’t compare that to sex.”

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The Face Painter

Elaine’s boyfriend David Puddy, who is a big New Jersey Devils fan, paints his face for a playoff game against the Rangers. Elaine is upset to learn that Puddy is a face-painter, and demands that he stop painting his face.

Puddy agrees, but instead of painting his face, he goes to the next game with his chest painted “D” to spell out the world “DEVILS”.

“No, I said no more face painting, and as you can see this is not my face.”

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The Butter Shave

While returning home from a month-long summer vacation in Europe, on a 22 hour flight, Elaine and Puddy break up. While broken up, Puddy flirts with the woman across the aisle and Elaine tries to make him jealous by flirting with Vegetable Lasagna.

They end up get back together, only to break up again when they return to New York.

“I mean I love just seeing you and having sex.”

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The Voice

Elaine bumps-into David Puddy at the coffee shop and Jerry says that she is destined to backslide into a relationship. Elaine bets him $50 that she won’t and ends up paying when Jerry discovers that Elaine was wearing the same clothes as the day before, thought Elaine explains that it was an isolated sexual incident.

When Elaine finally realizes that she wants to be with Puddy, he decides that now he wants to break up.

“And your hair, its somewhat de-poofed”

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The Junk Mail

Elaine is back with David Puddy, but falls for a man named Jack who she meets at the coffee shop. Elaine plans to keep Puddy on reserve until she finds out if the new guy Jack can handle the workload.

While going through old tapes, Jerry finds an old commercial that features Jack as The Wiz, a mascot for an electronics store. After seeing Jack as The Wiz, Elaine tries to get Puddy back but he turns her down. So she goes back to Jack, but learns that the electronics store will be bringing back his old character, The Wiz.

“You dumped me for some idiotic TV pitchman”

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The Apology

Kramer installs a garbage disposal in his bathtub drain because he spends so much of his time in the shower. Elaine’s co-worker Peggy is a germophobe who dislikes Elaine because she thinks she sleeps around and therefore is full of germs.

David Puddy reveals to Elaine that he is a recovering germophobe. Later, Elaine invites Peggy and Puddy over to dinner cooked by Kramer, but when Kramer reveals that he prepared the whole meal in the shower, they are horrified and to go back to Germophobes Anonymous.

“I’m a recovering germ-o-phobe. Ten years.”

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The Dealership

Puddy gets a new job as salesman at a Saab dealership, and Jerry tries to get a good deal on his new car with his connection. Elaine notices that Puddy likes to give people high-fives too often and begins to complain.

“I don’t know too many monkeys who could take apart a fuel injector”

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The Reverse Peephole

David Puddy wears a fur coat to Joe Mayo’s party, which is upsetting to Elaine, not because of the fur, but because of how he looks in it.

While at the party, Elaine throws out what she thinks is Puddy’s coat, but it is actually Joe Mayo’s. So when he leaves the party, Puddy takes Joe Mayo’s coat mistaking it for his own

Later, when Puddy, sees Jerry wearing a fur coat he decides that it make him “look like a dandy,” so he gets a new coat that features an 8-Ball on the sleeves and back.

“Check it out! 8-Ball! You got a question, you ask the 8-Ball.”

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The Burning

Elaine thinks Puddy may be a religious man after she finds that his car radio stations are all set to Christian rock stations. She tells George and Jerry about her suspicions, so George suggests altering his radio presets as a test.

Puddy confirms that he is religious and doesn’t care that Elaine is not, because he s not the one going to Hell. Elaine is frustrated that Puddy does not care that she is going to Hell, especially when he asks her to steal a newspaper from across the hall.

Elaine and Puddy seek the advice of a priest about their relationship, but the priest informs them that they’re both going to Hell for engaging in premarital sex.

“Sorry, thou shalt not steal.”

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The Finale

Puddy appears briefly in the finale; as Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer are sentenced to jail. Elaine tells him, “Puddy, don’t wait for me,” to which he shrugs and replies, “All right.”

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David Puddy quotes:

Jerry: Hey, David.
David Puddy: Oh, hi, Jerry.
Jerry: Hey, what’s the story? I hear you’re doing my move.
David Puddy: What move?
Jerry: What move? My move. The one I told you about. You used it on Elaine.
David Puddy: You’re move? What, are you kidding? I was doing that before I knew you. All you told me about was the ending.
Jerry: The ending is the whole thing. Without the ending, it’s nothing. You had nothing.
David Puddy: Oh, that ending was so obvious. I would have figured it out anyway. I didn’t need you to tell me that stupid twist.
Jerry: Swirl.
David Puddy: Whatever. I don’t even do it.
Jerry: Oh, yeah, I know. You do the pinch.
David Puddy: Yeah, that’s right.
Jerry: You can’t come up with your own stuff , so you steal other peoples? You’re nothing but a hack.
David Puddy: Are you through, ‘cuz, uh, I gotta get back to work.
Jerry: Well, I’ll tell you what I’ll do, you know. If you wanna do it out of town…okay. But not in the city.
David Puddy: All right, how about the next time your car breaks down, you take that out of town.
Jerry: Fine.
David Puddy: Good!


David Puddy: No, I’m sorry.
Elaine: What?!!
David Puddy: I can’t do the move.
Elaine: What?
David Puddy: Oh, he’s ruined it for me.
Elaine: Oh, oh, come on, please?
David Puddy: No, he called me a hack. I’m just not into doing it anymore.
Elaine: Oh, so—so that’s it?
David Puddy: I’ll come up with some new stuff.


Elaine: Hey, let me ask you a question.
David Puddy: Sure.
Elaine: What do you charge for blown shocks?
David Puddy: What?
Elaine: Two, three hundred?
David Puddy: I don’t know. Maybe five hundred.
Elaine: Ah. What about a bad gasket?
David Puddy: Bad gasket?
Elaine: Yeah. Like a terrible gasket.
David Puddy: What is all this?
Elaine: Nothing, nothing. I’m just taking an interest in what you…do.
David Puddy: What kind of car is it?
Elaine: Oh…any kind of—of a Swedish car.
David Puddy: All together, that could run about sixteen hundred.
Elaine: Oh. Is that with the parts and labor?
David Puddy: Uh-huh.
Elaine: Hmm… Oh, no. No, David. No, please. Not the knuckle….


Elaine: So how long have you been a Devils’ fan?
David Puddy: Since I was a kid, I’m from Jersey.
Elaine: Yeah? Well, we’re gonna kick your butts tonight.
David Puddy: Hey, no way, man.
Elaine: Yes.
David Puddy: We’re primed.
Elaine: Alright, you almost ready? Cause Jerry and Kramer are gonna be here any second. What the–
David Puddy: So what do you think?
Elaine: What is that?
David Puddy: I painted my face.
Elaine: You painted your face?
David Puddy: Yeah.
Elaine: Why?
David Puddy: You know, support the team.
Elaine: Well, you can’t walk around like that.
David Puddy: Why not?
Elaine: Because it’s insane?
David Puddy: Hey, you gotta let them know you’re out there, this is the playoffs.


David Puddy: You’re dead, Messier! We’re gonna get you, Messier!
Fan: Will you sit down?
David Puddy: Hey man, I’m just trying to support the team.
Elaine: Will you sit down? You’re disturbing everybody. Sit down!
David Puddy: Oh yeah, because you’re a Ranger fan and you know I’m messing with their heads. Go Devils!!


David Puddy: Ha ha! We took it to you! You couldn’t get it out of your zone all night. We were aggressive, we didn’t let you penetrate!
Kramer: Alright, that’s enough out of you, there’s still three more games left in this series, my friend, and it’s far from being over. Very far from being over… Watch out!
A car stops just short of hitting Puddy. A priest is in the passenger side
David Puddy: Hey, what are you doing?! Watch where you’re driving, man! mess with the Devils, buddy. We’re number one, we beat anybody! We’re the Devils! The Devils!! Haaaa!!!
Puddy runs away, leaving the old priest shaken.
Father Hernandez: El Diablo! Dios mio! El Diablo!!


David Puddy: Hey, great dip. You made this?
Elaine: No, it’s from the store.
David Puddy: Oh. Hey, how come people don’t have dip for dinner? Why is it only a snack, why can’t it be a meal, you know? I don’t understand stuff like that.
Elaine: David? David, I think we aught to talk.
David Puddy: Alright, that’s cool.
Elaine: David, I don’t think we should see each other anymore.
David Puddy: You gotta be kidding, how come?
Elaine: Well, you see, David, you’re a face painter.
David Puddy: Yeah, that’s right.
Elaine: Well, it’s not that I don’t like you, but, well to be perfectly honest, I’m just having some trouble getting past the face painting.
David Puddy: Well, alright, so you don’t like the face painting, I just won’t paint it anymore.
Elaine: Yeah, but you like the face painting.
David Puddy: Well, I don’t need to do it. It’s not like a habit or anything.
Elaine: Oh. You mean you’d stop it for me?
David Puddy: Yeah, that’s right.
Elaine: That’s so, that’s so sweet.
David Puddy: Ah, c’mere. Alright, I gotta go home and get changed before the game. I’ll be back, we’ll make out.


Elaine: What is that?
David Puddy: That’s the letter ‘D’.
Elaine: Why is the letter ‘D’ painted on your chest?
David Puddy: Well, I’m going to the game tonight, and me and these five other guys are gonna take our shirts off and spell out ‘Devils’.
Elaine: But you said no more painting.
David Puddy: No, I said no more face painting, and as you can see this is not my face.


David Puddy: Well, let’s see, I’ve got a ten kroner, a five kroner, a twenty kroner. No wait, that’s another ten kroner. A fimty kroner? How much is that?
Elaine: We have to break up.
David Pudd: What?
Elaine: I can’t take this anymore! I don’t want to hear how interesting the change with the hole in it is! And if you tell me what time it is in New York again, you are going home in a body bag!
David Pudd: Well what about you? What do you think The Gap in Rome has that’s not in The Gap on Broadway?
Elaine: Okay, alright listen. Forget about The Gap because we are through!
David Pudd: Fine!
Elaine: Fine!


Puddy and the woman across the aisle share a laugh.
Woman: David, you are so funny.
David Puddy: Yeah, I know.
Elaine: What are you doing?
David Puddy: It’s a long flight, Elaine. I had to get on with my life.
Elaine: By making time with some floozy across the aisle?
David Puddy: Yeah, that’s right. Well, what’s going on over there with you and, uh, vegetable lasagna?
Elaine: This guy? He’s an idiot. he doesn’t mean anything to me.
Vegetable Lasagna: I can here you.
David Puddy: Well, she doesn’t mean anything to me either. If it were up to me, we’d still be together.
Elaine: Well maybe I feel the same way.
David Puddy: Ok.
Elaine: Ok, so now what?
David Puddy: Let’s make out.


Elaine: Do you want something to read?
David Puddy: Nah.
Elaine: Well, are you going to take a nap or —
David Puddy: Nah.
Elaine: You’re just going to sit there staring at the back of a seat?
David Puddy: Yeah.
Elaine: That’s it! I cannot take this! I mean, look at this, nothing has changed. We’re back together two hours, we’re having the same problems we had 12 hours ago.
David Puddy: Tell me about it, I don’t know why I ever took you back.
Elaine: Please! I took you back. You know it, I know it, vegetable lasagna here knows it.


Jerry: Hey, look whose here – Puddy.
Elaine: My Puddy? But we broke up.
Jerry: And yet he continues to live.
David Puddy: Hey Benes, How are you?
Elaine: I’m doing great.
David Puddy: Great. See ya.
Jerry: Well, that’s it. You two are back together.
Elaine: What?
Jerry: The bump into. The bump into always leads to the backslide.


David Puddy: So the gloves were right by the phone. That is pretty funny.
Elaine: See, this is what Jerry’s doesn’t understand. We can see each other. We can see each other every day, but it doesn’t mean we are back together.
David Puddy: I mean I love just seeing you and having sex.
Elaine: Yeah.
David Puddy: Not having to do all that…you know…work.
Elaine: Well, either way…
David Puddy: All that calling you, and buying you stuff…
Elaine: David…
David Puddy: Caring about how everyone at work isn’t as smart as you. It’s brutal.
Elaine: Alright that’s it! We’re back together!
David Puddy: Oh, no.
Elaine: Oh, yeah.
David Puddy: Look Elaine, be reasonable.
Elaine: Get those clothes off. You’re going to spend the night and we’re going to cuddle.
David Puddy: What?
Elaine: You heard me. Strip!


David Puddy: You dumped me for some idiotic TV pitchman.
Elaine: Look, I’m sorry, Puddy. It-it was a mistake. So, let’s just put it behind us, and we can continue like this never happened.
David Puddy: Gee, I don’t know. What if we’re out somewhere and you see the Maytag repairman.
Elaine: You’re not taking me back?
David Puddy: That’s right.
Elaine: “He’s not idiotic. He’s the Wiz. And nobody beats him. Nobody!


David Puddy: Puddy.
Kramer: Is, uh, David Puddy there?
David Puddy: This is Puddy.
Kramer: Well, this is Kramer.
David Puddy: I know.
Kramer: Um, listen, you’re a mechanic. Could you help me install a garbage disposal?
David Puddy: Well, it’s a big job. You’ve got to dismantle the latch hasp from the auxiliary drainage line.
Kramer: No. It says main line .
David Puddy: It’s a misprint. What do you got, a Clarkman?
Kramer: Yeah.
David Puddy: Hey, man, I’ll call you back. I’ll talk you through it.
Kramer: Oh, OK. Well, thanks, buddy.


Elaine: Hey, Puddy.
David Puddy: Hey, Babe, your boss called. You owe five bucks for a balloon bouquet. Yeah, he says you can just give it to him tomorrow when you see him.
Elaine: Balloon bouquet? For who?
David Puddy: Peggy took a turn for the worst.
Elaine: Peggy. Oh, great. I suppose she’s still blaming me?
David Puddy: That’s what he said.
Elaine: I don’t believe this woman.
David Puddy: Talk to me, Babe.
Elaine: She’s this crazy woman who is convinced that my germs make her sick.
David Puddy: Oh, germ-o-phobe. I know what that’s about.
Elaine: Huh?
David Puddy: I’m a recovering germ-o-phobe. Ten years.
Elaine: What is this symbol?
David Puddy: It’s a germ.


Peggy: Elaine, it was very nice of you to bring the man you’re currently sleeping with over to talk to me, but I assure you, I don’t have any problem with germs.
David Puddy: Don’t you? Elaine.
Peggy: Please!
David Puddy: I know it looks bleak. I’ve been there. Ten years ago waking up in bed next to a woman like this would’ve sent me running for the Phisohex.
Peggy: Really?
David Puddy: I still have trouble looking at those disgusting old bedroom slippers she slogs around in.
Elaine: Hey, I’ve had those since college. They’re bunnies.
David Puddy: They’re bacteria traps.
Peggy: So you… just learned to live with it?
David Puddy: For the most part.
Elaine: OK, we’re broken up for the rest of the day.


David Puddy: Sorry I’m late.
Elaine: My new salesman boyfriend took me out to celebrate his promotion.
Jerry: Ah. Where’d you go?
Elaine: Uh, to a restaurant.
David Puddy: Arby’s.
Elaine: I had the roast beef.


David Puddy: Paper jam.. Got it! High-five. On the flip side.
Elaine: David, um, I..
David Puddy: Don’t leave me hangin’
Elaine: You’re a salesman now – and the high-five is.. it’s very grease monkey.
David Puddy: What did I tell you about that?
Elaine: I’m sorry, but the high-five is just so stupid.
David Puddy: Oh yeah? I’ll tell you what’s stupid. You. Stupid.
Elaine: Well, that is really mature.
David Puddy: Yeah? So are you.
Elaine: Huh?
David Puddy: You’re the grease monkey.
Elaine: Uh.. that doesn’t make any sense. I am leaving.
David Puddy: Yeah, if you leave, we’re through.
Elaine: Fine! We’re through!


David Puddy: Hey, babe. You ready to hit the ice?
Elaine: I am ready to skate up a– ha, ha, ha…Why are you wearing that?
David Puddy: It’s my winter coat.
Elaine: A fur?
David Puddy: Is there a problem?
Elaine: A seemingly infinite supply.


Joe Mayo: And Puddy, can you make sure no one puts a drink on my…sound system?
David Puddy: Sure thing, Joe Mayo.

 


David Puddy: Hey, Babe.
Elaine: What is that?
David Puddy: It’s my new coat.
Elaine: You ditched the fur?
David Puddy: Yeah, I saw Jerry wearing his. He looked like a bit of a dandy. Check it out! 8-Ball! You got a question, you ask the 8-Ball.
Elaine: You’re gonna wear this all the time?
David Puddy: All signs point to ‘Yes!’

 


Elaine: So where do you wanna eat?
David Puddy: Feels like an Arby’s night.
Elaine: Arby’s. Beef and cheese and do you believe in god?
David Puddy: Yes.
Elaine: Oh. So, you’re pretty religious?
David Puddy: That’s right.
Elaine: So is it a problem that I’m not really religious?
David Puddy: Not for me.
Elaine: Why not?
David Puddy: I’m not the one going to hell.


David Puddy: Elaine, they forgot to deliver your paper today. Why don’t you just grab that one.
Elaine: Cause that belongs to Mr. Potato Guy, that’s his.
David Puddy: C’mon, get it.
Elaine: Well if you want it, you get it.
David Puddy: Sorry, thou shalt not steal.
Elaine: Oh, but it’s ok for me?
David Puddy: What do you care, you know where you’re going.
Elaine: Alright, that is it! I can’t live like this.
David Puddy: Nah.
Elaine: C’mon.
David Puddy: Alright, what did I do?
Elaine: David, I’m going to hell! The worst place in the world! With devils and those caves and the ragged clothing! And the heat! My god, the heat! I mean, what do you think about all that?
David Puddy: Gonna be rough.
Elaine: Uh, you should be trying to save me!
David Puddy: Don’t boss me! This is why you’re going to hell.
Elaine: I am not going to hell and if you think I’m going to hell, you should care that I’m going to hell even though I am not.
David Puddy: You stole my Jesus fish, didn’t you?
Elaine: Yeah, that’s right!


Father Curtis: Let me see if I understand this. You’re concerned that he isn’t concerned that you’re going to hell. And you feel that she’s too bossy.
Elaine and Puddy: Yeah, that’s right.
Father Curtis: Well, oftentimes in cases of inter-faith marriages, couples have difficulty–
Elaine: Woah, woah, woah! No one’s getting married here.
Father Curtis: You aren’t?
David Puddy: No.
Elaine: We’re just, you know, having a good time.
Father Curtis: Oh, well then it’s simple. You’re both going to hell.
David Puddy: No way, this is bogus, man!
Elaine: Well, thank you father.
Father Curtis: Oh, did you hear the one about the new guy in hell who’s talking to the devil by the coffee machine?
David Puddy: I’m really not in the mood, I’m going to hell.
Elaine: Oh, lighten up. It’ll only feel like an eternity.


Elaine: Puddy, don’t wait for me.
David Puddy: Alright.

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