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Ellen – The Van Buren Boys

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Played by: Christine Taylor

Appears in The Van Buren Boys

Jerry’s girlfriend, Ellen is beautiful and seems perfect in every way, but Jerry notices that she doesn’t seem to have many friends. Concerned that she may be the loser in her group he asks his friends and family for their impressions. Turns out that they all love Ellen and Jerry realizes that if they like her, then there must be something wrong with her.

Ellen Quotes:

Ellen: So, they have this clock now, where you punch in your age, and all your risk factors. It actually counts down how much time you have left to live.
Jerry: So what’s the great moment? You’re on your death bed, they’re pounding on your chest – and you’re going 10, 9, 8,.. I told you this thing was good!
Ellen: I can’t believe this is our first date.
Jerry: I know.. How about dessert?
Ellen: I suppose I have to get a piece of cake..
Jerry: Why?
Ellen: Today’s my birthday.
Jerry: What? Today? Really?
Ellen: Yeah.

Ellen: Oh, Jerry, can you hold on a sec? I just want to check my messages.. Oh, Melissa! Kim!
Melissa: Ellen.
Ellen: Hey! You guys, I want you to meet Jerry.
Melissa: Ohh, we’ve heard a lot about you! It is so sweet of you to take her out.
Kim: Yeah, you don’t even know how much she needs this.
Jerry: She coming of a bad break-up?
Kim: No.
Melissa: See ya!
Jerry: Any messages?
Ellen: Yeah, no one called.

Jerry: Is that the same outfit you were wearing yesterday?
Ellen: No, this is brand new. Do you like it?
Jerry: Actually, yeah. Wait a second! Is that the fork that fell on the floor?! Are you using the fork that fell on the floor?!
Ellen: No, Jerry, the waitress game be another one.
Jerry: I guess that’s all right.
Ellen: Is something wrong, Jerry?
Jerry: No, absolutely nothing. You’re fantastic!

Ellen: And after college, I got my masters at the Sorbonne.
Morty: Sorbonne? Oh, hey. That’s in Paris.
Ellen: Oh, Jerry, you’re parking meter’s about to expire. Don’t get up, I’ve got change.
Jerry: So? What do you think?
Helen: Jerry, she’s fantastic.
Jerry: I knew it! I’m not crazy.
HELEN: She’s so sweet, and she’s got some body on her!
Morty: And smart! Like a computer!
Helen: And so much personality! But, it doesn’t matter what we think. Do you like her?
Jerry: Now, I’m not so sure.

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