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Emily – The Money

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emily-the-money-seinfeld

Played by: Sarah Silverman

Appears in The Money

Kramer dates Emily, but shes got the Jimmy legs

Kramer’s new girlfriend has “the Jimmy legs” when they sleep together so he seeks advice from Elaine. He finally tries to work out a deal with Emily where they retire back to their separate quarters after sex. While alone Kramer becomes afraid of things that go bump in the night (even Morty Seinfeld using exercise equipment) so decides he can no longer sleep alone, but Emily has decided she can. Kramer moves in with the Costanzas while they are on a trip to Florida. Kramer and Emily spend the night as an old married couple in the Costanzas’ house since both Frank and Estelle have separate beds due to Estelle’s “Jimmy arms”.

Emily Quotes:

Emily: So let me get this straight. You enjoy the lovemaking…
Kramer: Shh, shh.
Emily: Well, do you?
Kramer: Oh yeah, like strawberry pie.
Emily: Okay, but you have a problem sharing a bed with me?
Kramer: I know it’s not what the ladies like. But without some solid sack time, I’m a zombie.
Emily: I don’t know.
Kramer: Aww, c’mon, man. Meet me halfway.
Emily: You’re not easy, Kramer.
Kramer: I know.


Kramer: I uh, I was thinking maybe I should spend the night.
Emily: Aww, that’s sweet, but actually I, I think I’d prefer it if you left.
Kramer: What?
Emily: You were completely right. I sleep so much better when I’m alone. And you scream in your sleep.
Kramer: I do? There was a man, he was trying to get into my apartment last night. He was jiggling the doorknob for twenty-five minutes.
Emily: C’mon, it was probably the wind
Kramer: No, no, no. It was a fearless cat burglar. Now listen, you gotta let me sleep here, huh? Y’know, I’ll stay here on my side, and I’ll stuff a sock in my mouth. ‘Cos I don’t wanna sleep alone.
Emily: Well, I do.


Kramer: I don’t know why I let you talk me into that corned beef at Snitzer’s.
Emily: No-one held a gun to your head.
Kramer: Yeah.
Emily: Don’t forget, we’re eating dinner at the Feinerman’s tomorrow night.
Kramer: Oh, why do I have to go? They’re your friends.
Emily: You like ’em.
Kramer: I’ve had it with ’em.
Emily: Then we won’t go.
Kramer: Okay, okay. What time?
Emily: Eight thirty.
Kramer: Ahh. That was alright.


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