All 10+ of George Costanza’s Jobs – Was he ever Penske material?

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“Believe it or not, George Costanza had 12 different jobs over 9 seasons of Seinfeld. Some jobs were brief, other jobs spanned several years, bordering on a career.

Was he ever Penske material? You be the judge.

Be sure to connect with George on LinkedIn. He is always looking for a good recommendation.

Click the links below to skip to a particular job.

Rick Barr Properties

Real Estate Agent (Jul 1989 – Apr 1991)

Season 1 – 2 – the Seinfeld Chronicles, the Revenge

Boss: Rick Levitan

George received a memo telling him to stop using his boss’s private bathroom and to use the men’s room in the hall instead, which they share with Pace Electronics.

Fed up with his boss Rick and all of the BS, George storms into his office to tell him he quits.

After quitting, George regrets his decision since he doesn’t have another job lined up.

He considers careers in sports as the General Manager of a baseball team; an announcer (Color Man); a movie projectionist; talk show host; a Civil War history buff (how do you become a buff anyway?); and even considers becoming a Stable Boy.

Realizing he has no other options, George returns to the office on Monday and acts as if he never quit. During a meeting, everyone notices that George has returned after quitting the week before and Rick embarrasses him again in front of all his co-workers.

Vowing his revenge, George decides to get back at Rick by slipping him a Mickey at the anniversary party, you know, just like they do in the movies!

Later at the party, Rick offers George his old job back, but not before George spikes his drink.

Just before he is about to take a sip, Rick gives a little toast, remarking “I’d also like to welcome back into the fold our little shrimpy friend, George Costanza who, although he didn’t really have a very good year – how you blew that McConnell deal, I’ll never know. But, what the hell, huh? We’ve always enjoyed his antics around the office. George, anything you wanna add to this?”

To which George replies, “drink up!”

It is assumed that George is fired again for the ‘mickey’ incident as the next scene shows him brainstorming job ideas with Jerry again.

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Sid’s Parking Services

Parking Attendant (Dec 1991)

Season 2 – the Alternate Side

Boss: Sid

While in a transition phase, George asks to fill in for Sid, moving cars from one side of the street to the other so the owner doesn’t get parking tickets, while he is down in Virginia for a week visiting his sister.

Sid charges around $50 a month per car, with 40-50 cars—earning him around $2,500 a month. Not to bad for only working 3 hours a day.

While triple-parking cars, George is distracted when he sees Woody Allen across the street filming a movie. George slams into an ambulance causing gridlock, which delays the ambulance from responding to a 911 call and holds up production of the Woody Allen movie.

Most of Sid’s customer’s cancel on him because of George.

Pendant Publishing

Manuscript Reader (Dec 1991)

Season 3 – the Red Dot

Boss: Mr. Lippman

Still out of work and looking for a job, Elaine offers to refer George for a job at Pendant Publishing as a Manuscript Reader.

During an impromptu interview at the company Christmas party, Mr. Lippman asks George who he likes to read. Obviously, George is not a reader and responds that he reads book reports and likes to read Mike Lubica, a sports writer for the Daily News.

His favorite author, however, is Art Valdelay, an obscure writer. a beatnik from the village, who has written Venetian Blinds.

While working late one night, George ends up sleeping with the cleaning lady on his desk.

Mr. Lippman confronts George “It has come to my attention that you and the cleaning woman have engaged in sexual intercourse on the desk in your office.”

George gives a classic response, “Was that wrong? Should I have not done that? I tell you I gotta plead ingnorance on this thing because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing was frowned upon, you know, cause I’ve worked in a lot of offices and I tell you peope do that all the time.”

Because of the incident, George is fired.

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Unemployed

Looking for work (Feb 1992)

Season 3 – the Boyfriend

Boss: Mrs. Sokol

While back out of work, George files for unemployment benefits from the New York State Department of Labor.

He tells the unemployment office that he has been on interviews with several companies, including Vandaley Industries where he interviewed for the position of Latex Salesman.

In an attempt to be granted a 13-week extension on his benefits, George bribes the unemployment officer, Mrs. Sokol, by offering to take her daughter out on a date.

After a few dates, Carrie decides that she is too good for George, and isn’t even impressed that he got an interview at a hardware store.

Desperate for the benefits extension, George promises Mrs. Sokol that he will bring Kieth Hernandez to meet her.

Keith and Jerry hit it off after meeting in the gym locker room and he is also dating Elaine.

After scrambling to get in contact with Jerry to request the favor from Keith, George is unable to keep his promise and his extension is denied.

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NBC Television Broadcasting

Sitcom Writer (Sep 1992 – May 1993)

Season 4 – the Pitch, the Pilot

Bosses: Russell Dalrymple, Jay Crespi, Stu Chermak, Susan Ross

Jerry is approached by NBC executives Jay Crespi, and Stu Chermak, after seeing his standup act and want him to write a sitcom pilot for NBC.

Jerry and George decide to write the pilot together but struggle to come up with good ideas for the show. When the meeting to pitch ideas finally arrives, George almost blows the deal twice.

Once demanding that the show strictly be about “nothing” and then again for declining NBC’s initial offer of $13,000, because it was too low “That’s insulting! Ted Danson makes eight hundred thousand dollars an episode!”

Later they agreed to take $8,000 to write a pilot episode of ‘Jerry’ which they actually cast and film.

After the pilot finally airs, the new head executive at NBC decides to pass on ‘Jerry’, as she and Russell Dalrymple did not see eye to eye on the project.

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Specialty Models

Hand Model (September 1993)

Season 5 – the Puffy Shirt

Still down on his luck, George moves back in with his parents since he only has $714 in the bank.

While out to dinner, he meets a woman who notices how extraordinary his hands are and offers him a job as a hand model. George’s hands remind his peers of Ray McKegney – the most exquisite hand model of all time. That’s what comes from avoiding manual labor your whole life

Just as the new found fame starts going to George’s head, he burns his hands when Kramer’s girlfriend pushes him into a hot iron.

His days of hand modeling were over.

E.D. Granmont Bras

Bra Salesman (Oct 1993)

Season 5 – the Sniffing Accountant

Boss: Sid Farkus

George’s father, Frank, gets him an interview to be a Bra Salesman with his old friend Sid Farkus.

After showing extraordinary passion for brassieres during his interview, “Two cups in the front, two loops in the back. How do they do it?” Sid hires George as his new Bra Salesman.

Moments later, George is fired for flirting with the CEO, Ellen De Granmont, by feeling the material of her business suit.

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Sanalac Rest Stop Supply Co.

Sales Representative (Nov 1993)

Season 5 – the Barber

Boss: Mr. Tuttle

During his interview for a Sales Rep position with a rest stop supply company, George impresses Mr. Tuttle with his ability to understand everything immediately and not asking a lot of questions.

Before formally offering George the job, Mr. Tuttle is interrupted by his secretary to take an important phone call.

Not knowing if he was actually offered the position, George decides to simply show up to the office and pretend he has the job.

Mr. Tuttle is on vacation, so if he has the job, it’s fine. If he doesn’t have the job, by the time he comes back, George is ensconced.

George is assigned to manage the Penske file, and while meeting with Mr. Penske he offers George a position at his company, but he is interrupted before he can finish.

Mr. Tuttle returns from his vacation and questions what George has worked on all week since it clearly wasn’t the Penske file.

George quits, thinking he can go work for Penske, however, he later learns that the entire Board of Directors has been indicted and are prohibited from doing business until the investigation is completed.

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New York Yankees

Assistant to the Traveling Secretary (May 1994 –  May 1997)

Season 5 – 8 – the Opposite, the Muffin Tops

Bosses: George Steinbrenner, Mr. Wilhelm

Believing he is a failure, George decides to start doing the opposite of every instinct he has. This new ‘religion’ lands him a date and eventually a job interview with the New York Yankees.

George is hired when he goes against his instinct and verbally berates Mr. Steinbrenner for the moves he made as owner of the Yankees.

Some highlights from his time as the Assistant to the Traveling Secretary:

  • Eats his Snickers bar with a knife and fork during a meeting, inspiring others to do the same.
  • Gets Danny Tartabull to participate for a PBS Pledge Drive
  • Works with Danny Tartabull on improving his swing
  • Convinces manager, Buck Showalter, to switch the Yankees uniforms to cotton.
  • Suggests that the Yankees have more special days at the stadium, like ‘Joe Pepitone Day’, or ‘Jon Voight Day’.
  • While having sex with his secretary, Ada, he proclaims he is going to give her a raise, although he is not authorized to do so.
  • When Mr. Steinbrenner believes George is a communist he sends him to Cuba to scout baseball players for the Yankees.
  • Mr. Morgan believes George is a racist because he says he looks like Sugar Ray Leonard.
  • In order to get back a birthday card for Steinbrenner, George must depend on Paul O’Neil to hit 2 home runs and catch a fly ball in his hat
  • Responsible for getting his co-worker, Mr. Morgan, fired.
  • George gets promoted to Mr. Morgan’s old job, which is a lot more work, not for much more money.
  • Mr. Wilhelm accuses George is stealing equipment, due to how much George sweats when questioned.
  • Pretends to look annoyed to make Mr. Wilhelm think he under a lot of stress from work.
  • Meets with reps from the Houston Astros to discuss talks on inter-league play
  • Leaves his car in the parking lot so his boss thinks he is the first one to arrive at work and the last one to leave
  • Frequently had lunch meetings with Steinbrenner ordering calzones from Paisanos, its the ticket. During these meetings, he became Steinbrenner’s right-hand man, where he pitched his ideas for extending the bathroom stall walls all the way to floor, and a lost and found at the stadium
  • While off his medication, Mr. Wilhelm unknowingly does George’s work for him. When Steinbrenner sees “George’s” report he has him committed to a mental hospital.
  • Is seen hitting 2 home runs at batting practice with Derek Jeter and Bernie Williams. Is the ability to hit home runs is likely due to him realizing that hitting is simple physics. You must calculate the velocity V, in relation to the trajectory T, in which G, gravity, of course, remains a constant.
  • Modified his office desk so he can take naps during work.
  • To appease a terrorist bomber’s demands, George was placed in charge of ‘Fitted Hat Day’ – tasked with figuring out the different head sizes of 59,000 people. He was also almost tasked with calling all the ticket holders if a game was going to be rained out
  • During a lunch meeting with the New York Mets, George learns that they want to hire him as the next Director of Mets Scouting. However, in order to get the job offer, he must first be fired by the Yankees.
  • In attempts to get fired, George wears and spills strawberries all over Babe Ruth’s uniform. Streaks across the field in a flesh-toned body stocking, gaining the nickname “Body Suit Man”. Drives around the parking lot insulting Yankees front office members while dragging the 1996 World Series trophy along the ground.
  • Mr. Wilhelm takes the blame for George so that he can take the scouting job with the Mets.

Rather than being fired, George was traded to Tyler Chicken and in return, the Yankee’s concession stands will be converted to all chicken “Instead of hot dogs, chicken dogs; instead of pretzels, chicken twists; instead of beer, alcoholic chicken.”

Unemployed

the Summer of George  (Summer 1997)

Season 8 – the Summer of George

After losing his job with the Yankees and after his fiance Susan dies, George decides to take the summer off, using his severance from the Yankees.

While enjoying his new found freedom, George trips on a flight of stairs which causes him to spend the summer learning how to walk again.

He also moves back in with his parents in Queens.

Play Now Sports

Playground Equipment Sales Representative (Sep 1997 – Oct 1997)

Season 9 – the Butter Shave, the Voice

Boss: Mr. Thomassoulo

George pretends to be handicapped to get special treatment, which includes access to his own private handicapped bathroom and a great office with a view.

When it is discovered that George isn’t actually handicapped, his boss Mr. Thomassoulo asks him to leave Play Now.

Since George signed a one year contract he decides to stay. The pay is good, he’s got dental and private access to one of the great handicap toilets in the city.

Play Now files for bankruptcy after Jerry’s girlfriend sues them after getting a hit with a giant ball of oil.

A short stint, George only worked for a total of 14 days.

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Constanza & Son

Computer Salesman (October 1997)

Season 9 – the Serenity Now

Boss: Frank Costanza

George briefly works with his father and childhood rival, Lloyd Braun selling computers out of Frank’s garage.

George figures out a way to beat Lloyd by buying the computers himself, storing them at Kramer’s apartment, and then returning all of the computers after he wins the sales contest.

For being the top Salesman, George wins a new water pick but is unable to return the computers when Kramer ends up smashing the computers, which also brings Costanza & Son to the brink of bankruptcy.

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Kruger Industrial Smoothing

(Nov 1993 – Apr 1998)

Season 9 – The Slicer, The Stike, The Burning, The Maid

Boss; Mr. Kruger

George applies for a new position at Kruger Industrial Smoothing after he impressed Mr. Kruger “I have to honest; I could go either way with you…but what the hell, we need someone.”

Mr. Kruger is the perfect boss for George due to his lack of interest in the actual success of the company “I work for Kruger Industrial Smoothing: We don’t care, and it shows”

Some highlights from his time at Kruger Industrial Smoothing:

  • Unsuccessfully airbrushes himself out a photo of Mr. Kruger and his family at the beach.
  • Convinces Kramer to pose as a dermatologist in order to get a photo of Mr. Kruger with his shirt off, Mr. Kruger doesn’t fire George because he “doesn’t care”.
  • To avoid giving real Christmas gifts, George makes up a fake charity called, ‘The Human Fund’, which Kruger donates $20,000. George later gives the money back.
  • In the name of showmanship, George tries to leave meetings “on a high note” causing Kruger to take all of his co-workers off of a huge project, leaving George to do the work himself.
  • Unsuccessfully tries to get the nickname “T-Bone” by ordering a T-bone steak for lunch. Instead, Neil Watkins from accounting gets the nickname.
  • Earns the nickname, “Koko the Monkey” when Kruger sees him jumping up and down like some kind of monkey. Nickname is later changed to, “Gammy”.

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NBC Television Broadcasting

Sitcom Writer (May 1998)

Season 9 – The Finale

Bosses: James Kimbrough, Jay Crespi, Stu Chermak

After watching the old ‘Jerry’ pilot, the new president of NBC decides to put it on the air, offering Jerry and George a 13 episode commitment.

While traveling to Paris, their plane needs to take an emergency landing where George, Jerry, Kramer, and Elaine are arrested for breaking ‘The Good Samaritan Law’.

George is sentenced to one year in prison which puts an end to the show, ‘Jerry’

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Additional

The Susan Ross Foundation, Board Member

The Human Fund, Founder (the Strike)

Sentenced to 1 year in prison in 1998, removed from society (the Finale)

Assumed the identity of Donald O’Brien, a dangerous extremist, and leader of the Midwestern regional chapter of the Aryan Union (the Limo)

Rage-a-holics attendee (the Apology)

Imported a case of athletic training shoes with friend Jimmy. Attempts to sell to Foot Locker, and Sports Wholesalers (the Jimmy)

Camp Waiter at a children’s fat camp (the Busboy)

Fire from Dairy Queen for cooling his feet in the soft serve machine (the Millennium)

Imaginary Jobs

Vandaley Industries – Latex Salesman (February 12, 1992) (The Boyfriend Part 1)

Off-Broadway Playwright – La Cocina (September 16, 1992) (The Pitch)

Marine Biologist (the Marine Biologist)

Architect  – Art Vandelay who designed the new addition to the Guggenheim (the Race)

Importer/Exporter – Art Corvelay (the Stakeout)

Porno Actor  – Buck Naked (the Outing)

Hen Supervisor for Tyler Chicken, Little Rock, AR (the Muffin Tops)

Education

City University of New York-Queens College (1980-1986)

John F Kennedy High School (1977-1980)

  • Solid C average, right in the meaty part of the curve
  • Nicknamed: The Little Bulldog

Languages

English

Portuguese (the Abstinence)

Interests

Owner of two horses, Snoopy and Prickly Pete (the Wizard)

Rock Climbing with Tony (the Stall)