George Steinbrenner – Hire This Man!

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George Steinbrenner is George’s boss at the NY Yankees, and is always viewed from the back or the side so you can’t see his face.

He is first seen when introduced to George, who starts berating him for his management of the Yankees over the years.

George Steinbrenner has a tendency to ramble and George often sneaks away from boring conversations that continue to drag on.

George Steinbrenner appears in:

The Opposite

George decides to do the opposite of his every instinct.

When he has an interview with the New York Yankees, going against his instinct, he criticizes George Steinbrenner about his management of the team.

Steinbrenner likes it and tells Wilhelm to hire George as the Assistant to the Traveling Secretary.

“Hire this man!”

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The Secretary

During the heat of passion, George promises his assistant Eva a raise.

Staying true to his word, he goes to Steinbrenner and asks him to give Eva a raise. Steinbrenner ends up giving her a $25k bump and now she makes more than George.

“I couldn’t look at a donut for the next two years. Well not that I was ever one for the sweets.”

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The Race

A rumor starts in the office that George is a communist. When Steinbrenner hears about it he is delighted to have a communist who can help him sign Cuban prospects.

“George, the word around the office is that you’re a Communist.”

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The Jimmy

When George is suspected of stealing equipment from the Yankees he ends up confusing Steinbrenner when referring to himself in the third person, like Jimmy.

“Well lets see what I have today. Darn it It’s ham & Cheese again and she forgot the fancy mustard.”

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The Wink

George is in charge of getting everyone in the New York Yankee organization to sign Mr. Steinbrenner’s birthday card.

“Thanks for the card. I loved it. Gosh it made me feel good.”

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The Hot Tub

When George looks frustrated at work so that people think he’s busy word gets to Steinbrenner that he may be losing it.

He calls George into his office for advice to relax, two words hot-tub.

“George, word is you’ve been cracking under the pressure. Can’t cope, can’t stand the heat. Spit the bit.”

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The Caddy

George leaves his car at work to give Mr. Wilhelm the impression that he is working extra hours.

Kramer crashes the car when he takes it to get washed, so Steinbrenner thinks George is dead and breaks the news to Frank and Estelle.

“I want the stadium scoured. He could be bleeding to death in the bullpen. Put everyone on alert, check all the area hospitals, clinics, shelters, we’ve gotta find that kid.”

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The Calzone

Steinbrenner gets a taste of George’s eggplant calzone from Paisano’s and gets hooked. He starts to eat every lunch with George and demands he brings Paisanos.

“A calzone huh? Pass it down here. Let’s have a look at it. I want a little taste.”

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The Bottle Deposit

Steinbrenner sends George to a mental institution.

“Okay, come on boys, come on in here. George, this is Herb and Dan.”

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The Invitations

DELETED SCENE – The real Steinbrenner makes a cameo appearance and agrees to take Elaine to George’s wedding.

The Nap

When George converts his desk into a napping station, Steinbrenner mistakes George’s ticking alarm clock for a bomb.

“A bomb in the building, oh, my god. Quick, everyone under the desk.”

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The Millennium

George tries desperately to get fired from the Yankees but just as Steinbrenner is about to fire him, Wilhelm takes the fall so that he can take a better job with the Mets.

“Babe Ruth was nothing more than a fat old man, with little-girl legs. And here’s something I just found out recently. He wasn’t really a sultan.”

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The Muffin Tops

George lies to a woman about being a tourist from Little Rock and tells her he works for Tyler Chicken.

When Steinbrenner learns of this he calls the CEO of Tyler Chicken and trades George for some alcoholic chicken.

“Moonlighting for Tyler Chicken. Pretty impressive George. Days with the New York Yankees and nights in Arkansas with a top-flight bird outlet.”

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The Finale

George Steinbrenner is shown at the trial of Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer.

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George Steinbrenner quotes:

George Steinbrenner: He was only attracted to lactating women, but he’s fine now. Of course, he eats a lot of cheese

George Steinbrenner: So… it’s just empty calories and male curiosity, eh, Georgie?

 

George Costanza: I think it’s time for George’s lunch.

George Steinbrenner: Yes, it is. Let’s see what I got today. Ham and cheese again. And she forgot the fancy mustard. I love that fancy mustard. You could put that fancy mustard on a shoe and it would taste pretty good to me.

 

George Costanza: You, uh, wanted to see me, Mr. Steinbrenner?

George Steinbrenner: Yes George, I did. Come in, come in. George, the word around the office is that you’re a Communist.

 

George Steinbrenner: Costanza? Where’s Costanza?… Excuse mois? Have you seen Costanza?

Secretary: I’ve seen him around.

George Steinbrenner: Um, I’m stuck on this song yesterday. I can’t seem to get it out of my head. I don’t know the name of that. “She’s a heartbreaker, love taker…Oh. Oh”…very catchy. You know what? I can’t stay awake for that guy. What is this? People? Um, the most beautiful people. Ally Silica, Nothing wrong with that uh?

 

Cushman: I gotta tell you, you are the complete opposite of every applicant we’ve seen. Mr. Steinbrenner, sir. There’s someone here I’d like you to meet. This is Mr. Costanza. He is one of the applicants.

George Steinbrenner: Nice to meet you.

George Costanza: Well, I wish I could say the same, but I must say, with all due respect, I find it very hard to see the logic behind some of the moves you have made with this fine organization. In the past twenty years, you have caused me, and the city of New York, a good deal of distress as we have watched you take our beloved Yankees and reduced them to a laughing stock, all for the glorification of your massive ego.

George Steinbrenner: Hire this man!

 

George Steinbrenner: Mrs. Costanza?

Estelle Costanza: Yes?

George Steinbrenner: My name is George Steinbrenner, I’m afraid I have some very sad news about your son.

Estelle Costanza: I can’t believe it. He was so young. How could this have happened?

George Steinbrenner: Well, he’d been logging some pretty heavy hours, first one in the morning, last one to leave at night. That kid was a human dynamo.

Estelle Costanza: Are you sure you’re talking about George?

George Steinbrenner: You are Mr. and Mrs. Costanza?

Frank Constanza: What the hell did you trade Jay Buhner for?! He had 30 home runs and over 100 RBIs last year. He’s got a rocket for an arm. You don’t know what the hell you’re doin’!

George Steinbrenner: Well, Buhner was a good prospect, no question about it. But my baseball people loved Ken Phelps’ bat. They kept saying “Ken Phelps, Ken Phelps.