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Jack Klompus – Come on, Take the Pen!

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Jack Klompus is a resident of the Del Boca Vista and a social and political rival of Morty Seinfeld, Jerry’s father.

Morty and Jack both serve on the board of the Del Boca Vista condo association and have engaged in a decades-old power struggle.

Jack and Jerry also have a strained relationship dating back to their first encounter when Jack offered Jerry his Space Pen and then coerced Jerry to give it back later.

However, they were are able to put their differences aside for social events around the association, and a few business opportunities with Morty and Jerry. Jack is played by Sandy Baron.

Jack Klompus appears in:

The Pen

Jack always carries his Space Pen, the kind used by astronauts, which can write upside-down.

While using the Space Pen to settle the bill for dinner, Jerry compliments it saying that he could really use it when he writes in bed.

After hearing this, Jack insists that Jerry take the pen, leading to a dispute over whether it was a gift or whether Jerry should have accepted.


The Raincoats – Part 1 & 2

While in New York, a business opportunity with Kramer presents itself, so Morty calls Jack in Florida to ship him a box of “Executive” raincoats from his garage.

When the garage ends up being locked, Jack breaks a window to get in, cutting his hand in the process.

Jack neglects to get the window fixed and the Seinfelds’ home gets robbed.


The Cadillac – Part 1 & 2

Jerry buys his parents a Cadillac with the big check he received for a show in Atlantic City.

Jack gets suspicious and suggests that Morty, President of Del Boca Vista’s board of directors, stole the money to pay for the car, so Jack and other members of the board vote to impeach him.


The Money

Morty ends up selling the Cadillac to Jack for $6,000 and tried to give the money back to Jerry, who buys it back from Jack for $14,000.

Eventually, Jerry gives the Cadillac back to his parents, who then leave Del Boca Vista and move into a camper they attached to the car.


Jack Klompus Quotes:

Jack: This pen?
Jerry: Yeah.
Jack: This is an astronaut pen. It writes upside down. They use this in space.
Jerry: Wow! That’s the astronaut pen. I heard about that. Where did you get it?
Jack: Oh it was a gift.
Jerry: Cause sometimes I write in bed and I have to turn and lean on my elbow to make the pen works.
Jack: Take the pen.
Jerry: Oh no.
Jack: Go ahead.
Jerry: I couldn’t
Jack: Come on, take the pen!
Jerry: I can’t take it.
Jack: Do me a personal favor!
Jerry: No, I’m not…
Jack: Take the pen!
Jerry: I cannot take it!
Jack: Take the pen!
Jerry: Are you sure?
Jack: Positive! Take the pen!
Jerry: O.K. Thank you very much. Thank you. Gee, boy!

Jerry: Listen M. Klompus, it was really a nice gesture of you to give me the pen, but I don’t really need it.
Jack: You what?
Jerry: I mean it’s a terrific pen, but I think you should keep it. (he tends the pen to Jack)
Jack: Well I mean…
Jerry: Take it.
Jack: All right! (he smiles and take it)
Morty: You know Jack, you’ve got a hell of a nerve taking that kid’s pen.
Jack: Whose pen?
Morty: His pen.
Jack: This happens to be my pen.
Morty: You didn’t give it to him.
Jack: What are you talking about? He practically begged me for it.
Morty: Where do you come off with this crap?

Morty: (on the phone) Hello Jack.
Jack: Ya
Morty: It’s Morty
Jack: Who died?
Morty: Nobody died. Jack, I want you to do me a big favor. In my garage, there are a couple of boxes.
Jack: What boxes?
Morty: I’m gonna explain what boxes.
Jack: Alright how the hell do I know?
Morty: Anyway there are these three big boxes, you can’t miss them. I want you to ship them here to New York for me.
Jack: I thought you’re going to Paris
Morty: I’m still going to Paris. I got a big deal cooking here.
Jack: What’s in the boxes?
Morty: Raincoats.
Jack: Raincoats? You think you’re gonna sell those old crappy raincoats? That’s garbage.

Jack: Hello Jerry,
Jerry: Yea.
Jack: It’s Jack Klompus.
Jerry: Oh hi Jack.
Jack: So when are you coming down to Florida again?
Jerry: As soon as is humanly possible.
Jack: You know I still got that pen, the one that writes upside down.
Jerry: Yea yea ya I shoulda kept it.

Jack: What d’you think? I’ve never ridden in a Cadillac before? Believe me, I’ve ridden in a Cadillac hundreds of times. Thousands.
Morty: Thousands?!
Jack: What? D’you think you’re such a big shot now because you got a Cadillac?

Jack: C’mon Morty, the jig is up!
Morty: What’re you talking about?
Jack: I’m sorry. I’m sitting here, the whole meeting, holding my tongue. I’ve known you a long time, Morty, but I cannot hold it in any longer.
Herb: What’s going on, Jack?
Jack: I’ll tell you what’s going on. Morty Seinfeld has been stealing funds from the treasury.
Morty: Stealing?!
Ralph: What proof do you have?
Jack: Proof? Do you want proof? He’s driving around in a brand new Cadillac. Now what more proof do you want?

Jack: What took you so long?
Jerry: I live in New York. What the hell happened?
Jack: This thing is a, is a behemoth.
Jerry: What did you do?
Jack: I was, I was making a, a simple lane change. I, I put on the blinker and it took off on me. And the next thing you know, I was submerged. I’m telling you, Jerry, I’m very lucky that those crocs didn’t get me.
Jerry: You are such an idiot. Well, we gotta get the car cleaned up for my parents.
Jack: Do whatever you want. It’s your car.
Jerry: My car? You drove it into the swamp!
Jack: It drove itself into the swamp! Besides, I think I lost my pen, too.
Jerry: You know, that almost makes this all worthwhile.