Played by: Jennifer Guthrie
Appears in The Sponge
Jerry meets a girl but never gets her number until he finds it on an AIDS walk list. When Jerry shares this with George, he tells Susan, who tells her friend, who tells another friend and the news reaches Jerry’s new girlfriend. Jerry realizes that George spilled the beans and tells him hes “out of the loop.” While at Lena’s apartment, Jerry finds a lifetime supply of contraceptive sponges and gets caught.
Jerry: Hey, I have found the best-smelling detergent. Lena, smell my shirt.
Lena: Mmm! Very nice.
Jerry: It’s All-Tempa-Cheer.
Lena I use Planet. It’s bio-degradable and doesn’t pollute the oceans.
George: Yeah, the oceans really are getting very sudsy.
Lena: Can you wrap up all the left-overs on the table, please? I always take the left-overs. I work in a soup kitchen every morning at 6 a.m.
Jerry: They serve soup at 6 a.m.?
Lena: Yeah. That’s all they have.
Jerry: Do the bums ever complain? “Soup again?”
George: I’d get tired of it.
Jerry: How could you not?
Lena: Guess who volunteered last week?
George: Mick Jagger.
Lena: No. Maya Angelou.
Susan: Oh, the poet!
Jerry: So, let me ask you something – these people eat soup three times a day?
Lena: I don’t know.
Susan: So, did you get to talk to her?
Lena: Talk to who?
Jerry: Is it a lot of cream soups?
Susan: Maya Angelou, the poet.
Lena: No, I didn’t get the chance.
George: Oh, well, I’m sure you can reach her…she’s a poet. What does a poet need an unlisted number for?
Susan: I’m going to the ladies room.
Lena: I’ll go with you.
Jerry: How’d you find out?
Lena: A friend of a friend of a friend of Susan’s.
Jerry: Nothing. Listen, I’m sorry, I just –
Lena: It’s o.k.! There’s nothing to be sorry about. I don’t mind.
Jerry: You don’t mind that I got your number off the AIDS walk list?
Lena: No, not at all. No problem.
Lena: Hi! Hey, look at this – I just got a citation in the mail for my work with shut-ins.
Jerry: Oh, the shut-ins, that’s nice. You know, they’re a very eccentric group. Because they’re shut in. Of course, they’re not locked in, they’re free to go at anytime.
Lena: Oh, by the way, I checked at the soup kitchen – they do have cream soups.
Jerry: Hey, that’s dynamite. You know, Lena, I wanted to talk to you about something…you know, because you’re such a good person –
Lena: Oh, hang onto that thought – I’m rinsing a sweater, I left the water running. Hey, Jerry, can you get me a towel out of my bedroom closet?
Jerry: Oh, o.k.
Jerry’s Brain: : Oh my god! Look what’s goin’ on here! She is depraved!…There you are.
Lena: Thanks. So, you were saying…?
Jerry: What? Nothing.
Lena: No, you said I was a good person…
Lena: You seem like you want to tell me something.
Jerry: Tell you something…I do.
Lena: What is it, Jerry? You can tell me anything.
Jerry: Oh, uh…you see these jeans I’m wearing?
Jerry: I change the 32 waist on the label to a 31 on all my jeans. So, you know. That’s it.