Played by: Tamara Bick
Appears in The Abstinence
George’s girlfriend Louise has mono and he can’t have sex with her for six weeks. The lack of sex makes George’s mind sharper and he finds the he is learning new things quickly and even learns Portuguese. When George meets a Portuguese waitress, he calculates the odds of having sex with a Portuguese waitress, and decides that statistically, he has to do it, which reverts him to his normal intelligence.
Louise: George, I can’t have sex.
George: With me or in general?
Louise: I went to the doctor today. I have mono.
Louise: Oh I hope it’s not a problem for you.
George: No, no, pff… How long is this not gonna be a problem for me?
George: You know, Louise. I think you’ll find this amusing. In early Euclidean geometry–
Louise: George, I have to have sex.
George: I used to share that same outlook. But now, I have so many things to occupy my mind. For instance, the atom.
Louise: Goodbye, George. I hate you.