Played by: Tracy Kolis
Appears in: The Ex-Girlfriend
George decides he wants to break up with his girlfriend Marlene, who has a tendency to drag out conversations and leaves irritating messages for him on his answering machine. After the split, he realizes that he left some books in her apartment and persuades Jerry to go over and get them for him. After he gets the books, Jerry and Marlene to start date, and Jerry finds her just as annoying as George did. Jerry decides to tell George that he is now dating Marlene and George surprisingly says that he has no problem with it.
Marlene: ..So, it must’ve been ninety-five degrees that night, and everyone’s just standing around the pool with little drinks in their hands. I was wearing my old jeans and T-shirt. And I don’t know, I was just in one of those moods – so I said to myself, “Marlene, just do it,” and I jumped in. And as I’m getting out, I feel all these eyes on me, and I look up and everyone is just staring at me.
Jerry: So what’d you do?
Marlene: Well, nothing. It’s not skin off my hide if people like to look. I just didn’t see what the big attraction was.
Jerry: Well, I have a general idea what it was. I could take a guess.
Marlene: Hey, you know, Jerry, just because George and I don’t see each other anymore, it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t stay friends.
Marlene: Good enough. I’m really glad we got that settled.
Marlene: Are you feeling weird?
Jerry: No, I’m fine.
Marlene: Nothing really happened.
Jerry: Yeah, I know.
Marlene: We just kissed a little. People kiss.
Marlene: Well.. night.
Marlene: (Leaving a message) Jerry, have you ever taken a bath in the dark? If I’m not talking into the soap right now, call me back.
Marlene: ..I’m sorry, Jerry. I just don’t think this is going to work.
Jerry: Really? I thought..
Marlene: I know, I’m sorry.
Jerry: I guess I just didn’t expect it from the way you’ve been acting.
Marlene: You sure you want to talk about this? ‘Cause I sure don’t.
Jerry: Of course I want to talk about it.
Marlene: Well, okay. I guess things changed for me on Tuesday night.
Jerry: Tuesday night? What happened Tuesday night?
Marlene: ..I saw your act.
Jerry: My act? What does that have to do with anything?
Marlene: Well, to be honest, it just didn’t make it for me. It’s just so much fluff.
Jerry: I can’t believe this. So what are you saying? You didn’t like my act, so that’s it?
Marlene: I can’t be with someone if I don’t respect what they do.
Jerry: You’re a cashier!