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Melissa – The Apology

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melissa-the-apology-seinfeld

Played by: Kathleen McClellan

Appears in The Apology

When Melissa begins to walk around naked in front of Jerry, he begins to see too much.

Melissa Quotes:

Jerry: Zephyr? That is not a word.
Melissa: Do you challenge?
Jerry: No, I do not challenge.
Melissa: 66 points. Ha ha.
Jerry: I’d accuse you of cheating, but I don’t know where you’d hide the tiles.
Melissa: You want some more ice tea?
Jerry: Sure.
Melissa: Wrong pipe.


Melissa: OK, Jerry. I fixed that bike.
Jerry: Oh. That wasn’t really necessary. I don’t ride it. It’s just for show.
Melissa: I should really clean those bearings. Hold this. Look at all that gunk.
Jerry: Please don’t crouch.
Melissa: Ouch! Caught my skin.
Jerry: Oh, that’s bad. Especially that area.
Melissa: You got anything to snack on?
Jerry: Uhh…
Melissa: Oh, pickles! Unnhhhh! It’s a tough one.
Jerry: Look, please stop! Let me help you with that!
Melissa: Unnnnh! Oooh. That’s gonna leave a welt. Look at that.
Jerry: I can’t. I can’t look anymore. I-I-I’ve seen too much.


Melissa: What are you doing?
Jerry: “I found a rough spot on the kitchen floor, I thought I’d polish it up with this belt sander I have here.
Melissa: No, not that. Why are you naked?
Jerry: I thought naked is good.
Melissa: This isn’t good naked


Jerry: So I’m glad we had a talk and worked this out. Don’t you feel this is better?
Melissa: This is nice.
Jerry: Yes, clothes. This is normal.
Melissa: Hey, what are you doing tomorrow? I was thinking that we could go down…
Melissa: Jerry? Jerry, are you listening to me?
Jerry: Oh… yeah. What? I’m sorry.
Melissa: I wanted to know what you’re doing tomorrow.
Jerry: Oh, maybe a haircut, and, I don’t know, maybe a…


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