Mickey Abbott is Kramer’s friend and acting partner. They met while acting as stand-ins on a soap opera and also worked together at a department store as Santa and his Elf. Mickey has been divorced several times and mentions having two kids in college. He is played by Danny Woodburn.
Mickey appears in:
The Stand In – Mickey becomes worried about keeping his role as a stand in for a rapidly-growing child, so Kramer suggests he use “lifts” to make him taller.
The Race – Kramer gets a new job as Santa Claus at Coleman’s department store and Mickey plays his elf.
The Wait Out – Mickey poses as a child that Kramer was supposed to be babysitting so his mother wouldn’t know that he ran away.
The Yada Yada – Mickey and Kramer go on a double date, but can’t decide which woman is right for which one of them.
The Burning – Mickey and Kramer get acting jobs as patients for medical students. Mickey is assigned bacterial meningitis and Kramer gets gonorrhea.
The Finale – Mickey appears at the trial of Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer
Mickey Abbott Quotes:
George Costanza: Why don’t they just hire another midget?
Mickey Abbott: It’s “little people”…You got that?!
Mickey Abbott: Look, you take that commie crap out into the street.
Mickey Abbott: Bacterial meningitis… Jackpot!
Kramer: Gonnorhea? You wanna trade?
Mickey Abbott: Sorry buddy, this is the Hamlet of diseases. Severe pain, nausea, delusions… It’s got everything.
Kramer: Elaine, all right, who looks better in this shirt? Me or Mickey?
Mickey: We’re double dating tonight, and if we wear the same shirt we’ll look like idiots.
Mickey Abbott: Come on get your beard on. We’re going to be late.
Kramer: On Prancer on Dasher, on Donna.
Mickey Abbott: Not Donna, it’s Donner.
Mickey Abbott: Yeah, right!. On Prancer, on Dancer, on Donna, on Ethyl, on Harriet
Mickey Abbott: You gave me gonorrhea and you didn’t even tell me!
Kramer: I gave you gonorrhea because I thought you’d have fun with it!
Mickey Abbott: Well, you should have told me!
Karen: I like your shirt.
Mickey: Oh, thank you. It’s 100% cotton, and some wool.
Kramer: Well, you too seem to have the same taste.
Julie: Well I like it, too.
Kramer: Well I have the same shirt.
Mickey: Yeah, well I’m wearin’ it.
Dr. Wexler: Here are your ailments for this week. By the way, Mr. Kramer, you were excellent.
Kramer: Oh, thank you.
Mickey Abbott: Cirrhosis of the liver with jaundice! Alright I get to wear make-up!
Kramer: Eight hours of jingle belling and ho ho hoing. Boy, I am ho’d out.
Ned: Anyone who works here is a sap.
Mickey Abbott: Watch it!
Jerry Seinfeld: How do you stop a kid from growing?
Kramer: I told you, you should offer him some cigarettes.
Mickey Abbott: I offered him cigarettes, but his stupid mother is hanging around. She won’t let him have any.
Kramer: What were you holding the door open for?
Mickey Abbott: Not for you! Who holds a door open for a man?
Kramer: Well, I thought it was a nice gesture. But I guess I was wrong!
Mickey Abbott: Let’s just put their names in a hat.
Kramer: I don’t even know their names! Look, why don’t you just take the one that was on the left?
Mickey Abbott: I’m not sure she was my type.
Kramer: Oh, everybody’s your type.
Mickey Abbott: What the hell does that mean?
Kramer: You’ve been married three times.
Mickey Abbott: That’s it, it’s go time!