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Mickey Abbott – Take That Commie Crap Out Into The Street

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mickey-abbott-1Mickey Abbott is Kramer’s friend and acting partner. They met while acting as stand-ins on a soap opera and also worked together at a department store as Santa and his Elf. Mickey has been divorced several times and mentions having two kids in college. He is played by Danny Woodburn.

Mickey appears in:

The Stand In – Mickey becomes worried about keeping his role as a stand in for a rapidly-growing child, so Kramer suggests he use “lifts” to make him taller.

The Race –  Kramer gets a new job as Santa Claus at Coleman’s department store and Mickey plays his elf.

The Wait Out – Mickey poses as a child that Kramer was supposed to be babysitting so his mother wouldn’t know that he ran away.

The Yada Yada – Mickey and Kramer go on a double date, but can’t decide which woman is right for which one of them.

The Burning –  Mickey and Kramer get acting jobs as patients for medical students. Mickey is assigned bacterial meningitis and Kramer gets gonorrhea.

The Finale – Mickey appears at the trial of Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer


Mickey Abbott Quotes:

George Costanza: Why don’t they just hire another midget?

Mickey Abbott: It’s “little people”…You got that?!


Mickey Abbott: Look, you take that commie crap out into the street.


Mickey Abbott: Bacterial meningitis… Jackpot!

Kramer: Gonnorhea? You wanna trade?

Mickey Abbott: Sorry buddy, this is the Hamlet of diseases. Severe pain, nausea, delusions… It’s got everything.


Kramer: Elaine, all right, who looks better in this shirt? Me or Mickey?

Mickey: We’re double dating tonight, and if we wear the same shirt we’ll look like idiots.


Mickey Abbott: Come on get your beard on. We’re going to be late.

Kramer: On Prancer on Dasher, on Donna.

Mickey Abbott: Not Donna, it’s Donner.

Kramer: Donna!

Mickey Abbott: Yeah, right!. On Prancer, on Dancer, on Donna, on Ethyl, on Harriet


Mickey Abbott: You gave me gonorrhea and you didn’t even tell me!

Kramer: I gave you gonorrhea because I thought you’d have fun with it!

Mickey Abbott: Well, you should have told me!


Karen: I like your shirt.

Mickey: Oh, thank you. It’s 100% cotton, and some wool.

Kramer: Well, you too seem to have the same taste.

Julie: Well I like it, too.

Kramer: Well I have the same shirt.

Mickey: Yeah, well I’m wearin’ it.


Dr. Wexler: Here are your ailments for this week. By the way, Mr. Kramer, you were excellent.

Kramer: Oh, thank you.

Mickey Abbott: Cirrhosis of the liver with jaundice! Alright I get to wear make-up!


Kramer: Eight hours of jingle belling and ho ho hoing. Boy, I am ho’d out.

Ned: Anyone who works here is a sap.

Mickey Abbott: Watch it!


Jerry Seinfeld: How do you stop a kid from growing?

Kramer: I told you, you should offer him some cigarettes.

Mickey Abbott: I offered him cigarettes, but his stupid mother is hanging around. She won’t let him have any.


Kramer: What were you holding the door open for?

Mickey Abbott: Not for you! Who holds a door open for a man?

Kramer: Well, I thought it was a nice gesture. But I guess I was wrong!

Mickey Abbott: Let’s just put their names in a hat.

Kramer: I don’t even know their names! Look, why don’t you just take the one that was on the left?

Mickey Abbott: I’m not sure she was my type.

Kramer: Oh, everybody’s your type.

Mickey Abbott: What the hell does that mean?

Kramer: You’ve been married three times.

Mickey Abbott: That’s it, it’s go time!