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Mr. Lippman – Top of the Muffin to You!

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Mr. Lippman is the owner of Pendant Publishing and Elaine’s boss. He later opens a bakery that only sells muffin tops.

Lippman is played by Harris Shore (the Library) and Richard Fancy for the remainder of the character’s appearances through Season 9.

Mr. Lippman Appears in:

The Library

Kramer begins dating a librarian and reading her poetry brings him to tears.

Elaine notices how moved Kramer was by her writing and recommends that she be published by Pendant.

Did he like them? No, he didn’t! No, he didn’t!

“Yes I did. Yes I did… Maureen this water is still too cold.”


The Red Dot

Elaine convinces Mr. Lippman to hire George at Pendant Publishing, but he is forced to fire George for having sex with the cleaning woman on his desk.

“I’m going to get right to the point. It has come to my attention that you and the cleaning woman have engaged in sexual intercourse on the desk in your office. Is that correct?”


The Letter

Elaine lied to Mr. Lippman about visiting her sick father so she could get out of attending his son’s bris.

Instead, Jerry’s girlfriend Nina gets them Yankees tickets vs. Baltimore, and Elaine wears an Orioles hat in the owner’s box.

When asked to take the cap off she refused, causing a big scene and eventually getting kicked out of the game.

“She wouldn’t take the cap off? But didn’t she know they were the owner’s seats?”


The Sniffing Accountant

Elaine has an argument with Jake Jarmel about the use of an exclamation point, for news that her friend had a baby.

Later, Mr. Lippman gets upset with Elaine’s edits to Jake Jarmel’s book, feeling that she added too many exclamation points.

“I was just reading your final edit, there seems to be an inordinate number of exclamation points.”


The Cigar Store Indian

Mr. Lippman buys a Cigar Store Indian from Kramer to go with the remodeling of his office in a Southwestern motif.

While finalizing the sale Mr. Lippman agrees to publish Kramer’s coffee table book about coffee tables and puts Elaine in charge of editing it.

“I’m redecorating my office in a southwestern motif and this would be perfect.”


The Marine Biologist

Elaine goes with Mr. Lippman to greet a famous Russian writer, Yuri Testikov.

During their ride in a limo, Elaine offends him by saying ‘War and Peace’ was originally supposed to be titled ‘War: What is it Good For?’

“You know Tolstoy use to write in the village square. The faces inspired him.”


The Opposite

It is revealed that Pendant Publishing is in financial trouble and that they are going to be saved by a Japanese publishing company.

At a meeting over the merger, Mr. Lippman has a severe cold and unintentionally offends the Japanese men by not shaking his hand to avoid spreading his germs.

This causes the merger to be called off and spells the end for Pendant Publishing.

“You know, without this merger, we’d be out on the street.”


The Scofflaw

In an attempt to revive Pendant Publishing, Mr. Lippman agrees to publish Jake Jarmel’s latest book.

However, Elaine causes a fight between Jake and Mr. Lippman because Lippman has an identical pair of glasses that Jake insisted were rare and could only be purchased in Malaysia.

“Yeah, by the way, those are great glasses.”


The Muffin Tops

Mr. Lippman decides to open a bakery that only sells muffin tops, called Top of the Muffin to You!

But the business fails because they have no way to dispose of the unused muffin stumps.

“So what do we with the bottoms?”

The Serenity Now

When Mr. Lippman tries to kiss Elaine, George tells her that it is because she is a Shiksa.

Jewish men love the idea of meeting a woman that’s not like their mother.

So when Elaine claims that he only likes her because she has shiksa-peal, Mr. Lippman also renounces Judaism.

“I renounce Judaism!”


The Finale

Mr. Lippman appears at court for the trial of Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer in the series finale.

Mr. Lippman Quotes:

Elaine: Oh, hi Mr. Lippman.
Lippman: Elaine,
Elaine: Um, uh, I was wondering if you got a chance to look at that, um, biography of
Columbus, I gave you?
Lippman: Yes I did. Yes, I did. … Maureen, this water is still too cold.
Elaine: It’s freezing. … Hurts your teeth.

Lippman: I’m going to get right to the point. It has come to my attention that you and the cleaning woman have engaged in sexual intercourse on the desk in your office. Is that correct?
George: Who said that?
Lippman: She did.
George: Was that wrong? Should I have not done that? I tell you I gotta plead ignorance on this thing because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing was frowned upon, you know, cause I’ve worked in a lot of offices and I tell you people do that all the time.
Lippman: You’re fired.
George: Well you didn’t have to say it like that.
Lippman: I want you out of here by the end of the day.
George: What about the whole Christmas spirit thing? Any flexibility there?
Lippman: Nah.

Elaine: You wanted to see me, Mr. Lippman?
Lippman: I was just going over the Jake Jarmel book and I understand you worked with him very closely.
Elaine: Yes, yes I did.
Lippman: And, anyway I was just reading your final edit, um, there seems to be an inordinate number of exclamation points.
Elaine: Well, I felt that the writing lacked certain emotion and intensity.
Lippman: Oh, “It was damp and chilly afternoon, so I decided to put on my sweatshirt!”
Elaine: Right, well…
Lippman: You put an exclamation point after sweatshirt?
Elaine: That’s that’s correct, I-I felt that the character doesn’t like to be ch-ch-chilly…
Lippman: I see, “I pulled the lever on the machine, but the Clark bar didn’t come out!” Exclamation point?
Elaine: Well, yeah, you know how frustrating that can be when you keep putting quarters and quarters into the machine and then *prrt* nothing comes out…
Lippman: Get rid of the exclamation points…
Elaine: Ok, ok ok …
Lippman: I hate exclamation points…

Lippman: Uh, excuse me. Are you uh, selling this Indian?
Kramer: Oh yeah, yeah.
Lippman: Uh, I’m just uh, redecorating my office in a southwestern motif and this would be perfect. Give you five hundred dollars for it?
Kramer: Giddyup.
Lippman: Yeah? Could you help me bring it up to my office, I’m right next door. Pendant Publishing.
Kramer: Pendant Publishing? Giddyup again.

Kramer: You know I was just admiring your coffee table, out there in the hall.
Lippman: You like that, huh? I had that custom made for me in Santa Fe.
Kramer: You mind if I use it in my book?
Lippman: What book?
Kramer: Well, I’m doing a coffee table book on coffee tables.
Lippman: About coffee tables?
Kramer: Uh huh.
Lippman: That’s fantastic. Who’s your publisher?
Kramer: Well, I’m still shopping it around.
Lippman: Yeah? (to Elaine) You see, this is the kind of idea you should be coming in with. What the hell do you do around here all day anyway?

Lippman: We have got you in a very nice hotel, I don’t know how you like to work but I can arrange for an office if you want.
Testikov: I will work in a hotel…much better. I will work away from all the penny bickering and interference.
Lippman: You know Tolstoy use to write in the village square. The faces inspired him.
Testikov: He didn’t need any inspiration…God spoke through his pen.
Elaine: That is so true! Although one wonders if “War and Peace” would have been as highly acclaimed as it was if it was published under its original name “War—What Is It Good For?”
Lippman: What?
Elaine: Yes. Mr. Lippman. It was his mistress who insisted he called it “War and Peace.” “War–What Is It Good For.”(sang) Absolutely nothin’! That’s the song that they got from Tolstoy.
Lippman: I’m sorry, it’s just her sense of humor.

Lippman: Top of the muffin to you. Elaine!

Lippman: Elaine. I’m in over my head. Nobody likes my muffin tops.
Elaine: So? What do you want me to do about it?
Lippman: You’re the muffin top expert, tell me what I’m doing wrong.
Elaine: Mr. Lippman, when I worked for you at Pendant Publishing, I believed in you, you know as a man of integrity. But, I saw you in that paper hat and that apron…
Lippman: What if I cut you in for 30% of the profits?
Elaine: Deal. Here’s your problem. You’re making just the muffin tops. You’ve gotta make the *whole* muffin. Then you… Pop the top, toss the stump. Taste.
Lippman: Ah. Mmmmm. Ah hah?
Elaine: Yeah.
Lippman: So what do we with the bottoms?

Elaine: Don’t get me wrong, Mr. Lippman. I-I’m very flattered that you found me attractive enough to… lunge at me. Huh. But the only reason you like me is because I’m a shiksa.
Lippman: That’s simply not true.
Elaine: If you weren’t Jewish, you wouldn’t be interested in me.
Lippman: You are wrong. I’ll prove it.
Elaine: Oh, no. Don’t!
Lippman: I renounce Judaism!