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Nina – The Letter

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nina-the-letter-seinfeld

Played by: Catherine Keener

Appears in The Letter

Jerry dates Nina the artist who paints a portrait of Kramer. When she offers George her father’s tickets to the owners box at Yankee Stadium, he reluctantly purchases a painting for $500. After an argument, Nina sends Jerry a breakup letter but he realizes that she plagiarized the letter from a movie.

Nina Quotes:

Kramer: Are you getting the eyes? ‘Cause they’re brown. (beat) Or, really, they’re dark brown, like rich, Columbian coffee.
Nina: Tell me about Elaine.
Kramer: She and Jerry were a big thing, like Abe Lincoln and Mary Todd.
Nina: But, they’re still friends.
Kramer: Oh yeah, they’re like this (holds up two fingers together).
Nina: Don’t you think that’s strange?
Kramer: Why, what’s the difference?
Nina: Well, are you still friends with any of your ex-girlfriends?
Kramer: Well, you know… I, uh… have many relationships.


Jerry: Hi, Nina. This is my friend George.
Nina: How nice to meet you, I’ve heard a lot about you.
Jerry: Hey, look at this guy!
Kramer: Yeah!
Jerry: I brought George up to see some of your paintings.
Nina: Oh, are you interested?
George: Um… yeah! Sure, sure I’m interested.
Kramer: George, you gonna buy a painting?
George: Yeah, sure.
Nina: Are you an art-lover?
George: I am an art-adorer! I adore art.
Nina: Great! Well, take a look around. Pick out something you like.
Jerry: May I? (pantomimes making a big “X” across the painting)
Nina: Get outta here! Here, play with this. (handsJerry a small white envelope)
Jerry: What’s this?
Nina: My father gave me four tickets to the Yankee game for Saturday afternoon. Owner’s box, first row behind the dugout.
Jerry: Oh, Saturday… I’m working, I’m going out of town.
Nina: Oh, well. I’m not gonna go without you. Do you guys want ’em?
Kramer: Yeah.
Jerry: They’re right behind the dugout, George, first row!
George: Behind the dugout, are you kidding? How did you get them?
Nina: Oh, my father’s the Yankees accountant… it’s the owner’s box.
George: All my life I’ve dreamed of sitting front row, behind the dugout!
Nina: (gesturing towards a small, ugly painting George was apparently looking at and happens to be holding) You like that one?


Nina: She was a guest of my father’s. She should’ve taken the cap off.
Jerry: It’s preposterous! They ask someone to take off a baseball cap at a baseball game. (beat) How can you defend that?


Jerry: Look, I’m really getting tired off all the fighting. Maybe we should just end this before we really start hating each other.
Nina: Oh, well, you wouldn’t want that because you always have to remain friends!
Jerry: Well, I like to remain friends with people I was friends with!
Nina: Hey — why don’t you just go then! And — oh, give this to George. Tell him he owes me $500!


Nina: What’s the appeal of the posse?
Jerry: The appeal of the posse? The posse has tremendous appeal. Get away from the job, camp out, you’re with your friends… Come on, it’s a week-long game of hide-and-seek on horseback.
(George enters)
Nina: Hello, George.
George: Hey, Nina! I owe you some money, don’t I?
Nina: Well, I really love that piece.
George: Oh, yeah, me too, me too. Boy oh boy oh boy…! You know, in fact, I’ve been thinking about it, and I feel like I’m stealing from you! Five-hundred dollars! It’s gonna be worth thousands soon! You know what? On second thought, I can’t even accept it.
Nina: No, no no no, George! A deal’s a deal. I want you to have it!
George: This could be in a museum some day! It’s not safe with me! It should really be in a doormanned building.
Nina: Honestly, George, the money’s not important.
George: Who said anything about money?
(intercom buzzes)
Jerry: Yeah?
Elaine: It’s Elaine.
Jerry: Come on up.
Nina: Elaine?
Jerry: …Yeah.
Nina: This person does not believe in telephones, does she?
Jerry: She likes the pop-in. I’ve told her how I hate the pop-in.


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