Played by: Valerie Mahaffey
Appears in: The Truth
George’s girlfriend Patrice is a representative for the IRS and gives Jerry’s tax papers to her so she can help him through an audit. But George has trouble with the strange way that she pronouces things. Like calling his doorman, Sammy, “Samuel” but she doesn’t even say “Samuel” she says “Sam – U- EL” … Papie-eh Mach-eh! What is Papie-ay Mach-ay? George tells the truth to Patrice and they break up, a move that upsets Jerry, as she took the tax papers with her.
Patrice: Everyone in my family’s creative. And even though I’m working as an accountant now I’d really like to eventually live exclusively on my pappe-ay mache-ay hats
George: I don’t understand. Paper Machay hats?
Patrice: uh uh
George: What if it rains?
Patrice: They’re art. You hang them on the wall.
George: Oh, art!
Patrice: It’s my creative outlet. One of my passions.
George: Any money in it?
Patrice: Who so belongs only to his age, references only popenjays and mumbo jumbos
George: Of course, right.
Patrice: Thomas Carlisle, 1864.
George: I don’t think we should see each other anymore. You’re great but I’m I’m riddled with personal problems.
Patrice: What did I do?
George: Nothing It’s not you. It’s me. I have a fear of commitment. I don’t know how to love.
Patrice: You hate my earrings don’t you?
George: No, no,
Patrice: And you didn’t comment on the chop sticks.
George: I love the chop sticks. I, I personally prefer a fork but they look very nice.
Patrice: You’re not telling me the truth. I must have done something.
George: I have a fear of intimacy
Patrice: Don’t give me cliches. I have a right to know. What did I do wrong?
George: Nothing. It’s not YOU..
Patrice: I want the truth.