» » Russell Dalrymple – You Read? You Read on the Show?

Russell Dalrymple – You Read? You Read on the Show?

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Russell Dalrymple is the President of NBC, one of George’s many bosses, and the main supporter of the sitcom Jerry. He is divorced and has a teenage daughter, named Molly.

When Russell goes missing, he is replaced by a new NBC president, Rita Kirson who didn’t like Jerry and George’s show, and cancelled it.

Russell Dalrymple appears in:

The Ticket

Russell meets with Jerry and George at his NBC office and offers them the opportunity to create a sitcom pilot.

The Pitch

Russell meets with Jerry and George again at his NBC office and questions them about their ideas for the show. He is concerned when George explains his idea for a show about nothing.

The Watch

After being insulted by NBC’s monetary offer for the pilot episode of Jerry, George tells Susan that they are going to pass. After realizing his mistake, he visits Russell at his home, interrupting him during dinner, to try and negotiate another deal.

The Shoes

After George is caught looking at Russell’s 15 year old daughter’s cleavage, they try to catch him in the act using Elaine’s cleavage to attract him.

The Pilot

He had one date with Elaine, and though she didn’t want to see him any more, he became fixated on her, calling her all the time, desperate to see her again.

She states that it was because of his job and if he worked for a more respectable organization things would be different, (she really just found him creepy, but didn’t admit it to him). He then suddenly disappears, and nobody from NBC knows where he is.

He is later shown to have joined Greenpeace to impress Elaine. He died after falling out of a small boat in the middle of the sea, while on a mission for Greenpeace.

Russell Dalrymple quotes:

George: The story is the foundation of all entertainment. You must have a good story otherwise it’s just masturbation.
Russel: And people really have to care about the characters.
George: Care? Forget about care. Love. They have to love the characters. Otherwise, why would they keep tuning in?
Jerry: Wouldn’t tune in.
George: Would they tune in?
Jerry: No tune.
Russel: We like to look at the show as if it were in EKG. You have your highs and your lows and it goes up and down.
George: The show will be like a heart attack!
Jerry: Just a huge massive coronary.
Russel: So what you said last week about no story, you’re a little flexible on that now.
George: Is-is that what I said ‘no story’? Because Jerry had to tell me later.
Jerry: He couldn’t believe it.
George: I said, I said: ‘Get outta here! No story? Is that what I said?’


Russel: Look. I don’t know how you two guys feel but we would really like to be in business with you.
George: Well, we would like to be in business. Let’s do business. We’ll have some business. Let’s have business.
Jerry: We would love to be in business. We’ll do business. We’re in business. It’s… it’s business. This is business.
George: Yeah!
Stu: Would it be possible to get a-a-a copy of ‘La Cocina’?
Jerry: Your off-Broadway play.
George: Oh, oh. Uh, you know. It’s the damndest thing. I, uh, I moved recently and my files, pfff, disappeared. Now, I-I don’t know if they fell off the truck or if there was some sort of foul play but let me tell you something. I’m not through with that moving company.
Jerry: Hmm, hmm.
George: That’s my vow to you.
Russel: Well, I got a feeling about you two. And even more than that. I place a great deal of confidence in that lady’s judgment.
George: Oh! That’s good judgment. That’s a pile of judgment there. Sure.
Jerry: Oh! Taht’s judgment. Yes, yes. Judgment with earrings on. Yeah.
Russel: So, let’s make a pilot.


Russell: What about you, George? Have you written anything we might know?
George: Well, possibly. I wrote an off-Broadway show, “La Cocina.” ..Actually, it was off-off-Broadway. It was a comedy about a Mexican chef.
Jerry: Oh, it was very funny. There was one great scene with the chef – what was his name?
George: Pepe.
Jerry: Oh, Pepe. Yeah, Pepe. And, uh, he was making tamales.
Susan: Oh, he actually cooked on the stage?
George: No, no, he mimed it. That’s what was so funny about it.
Russell: So, what have you two come up with?
Jerry: Well, we’ve thought about this in a variety of ways. But the basic idea is I will play myself-
George: May I?
Jerry: Go ahead.
George: I think I can sum up the show for you with one word: NOTHING.
Russell: Nothing?
George: Nothing.
Russell: What does that mean?
George: The show is about nothing.
Jerry: Well, it’s not about nothing.
George: No, it’s about nothing.
Jerry: Well, maybe in philosophy. But, even nothing is something.
Receptionist: Mr. Dalrymple, your niece is on the phone.
Russell: I’ll call back.
George: D-A-L-R-I-M-P-E-L?
Russell: Not even close.
George: Is it with a “y”?
Russell: No.
Susan: What’s the premise?
Jerry: Well, as I was saying, I would play myself, and, as a comedian, living in New York, I have a friend, a neighbor, and an ex-girlfriend, which is all true.
George: Yeah, but nothing happens on the show. You see, it’s just like life. You know, you eat, you go shopping, you read.. You eat, you read, You go shopping.
Russell: You read? You read on the show?
Jerry: Well, I don’t know about the reading.. We didn’t discuss the reading.
Russell: All right, tell me, tell me about the stories. What kind of stories?
George: Oh, no. No stories.
Russell: No stories? So, what is it?
George: What’d you do today?
Russell: I got up and came to work.
George: There’s a show. That’s a show.
Russell: How is that a show?
Jerry: Well, uh, maybe something happens on the way to work.
George: No, no, no. Nothing happens.
Jerry: Well, something happens.
Russell: Well, why am I watching it?
George: Because it’s on TV.
Russell: Not yet.


George: Is this a bad time? I hope I’m not disturbing anything.
Russell: We were about to sit down to dinner.
Russell: This is Cynthia.
George: Oh. Oh, hi, hi. Hi. Nice to meet you. What’re you having, veal?
Russell: No.
George: Looks like veal.
Russell: It’s not veal.
George: Well, it’s a good looking piece of meat. Wow, this is some place. A duplex, huh? Look at this, you got stairs in an apartment. All my life, I dreamed about having steps in an apartment. Even one step. Sunken living room. Although, one step is really not all that sunken.
Russell: Who gave you my address?
George: No, that’s a fair question. It is, uhm… Jerry, yeah. Jerry’s a friend of mine. He uh, he gave it to me. Unbelievable how many addresses of people this guy has.
George: He’s got Marlon Brando’s. I could go to Marlon Brando’s house if I really wanted. Course, I wouldn’t, I mean uh, the guy is uh, well obviously the guy has his problems.
Russell: So, what’s the surprise? You wanna talk about the show?
George: Well, you know, it’s really very funny, because you know what we got here, really? We really, really, just have a terrible misunderstanding. You see, when I passed on the deal, I thought that’s what Jerry wanted me to say. Y’know, I, I misinterpreted.
Cynthia: Russell, where’s the TV Guide.
George: Oh, what time is it? Eight thirty? I’ll tell you what’s on. You got Major Dad, Blossom, very funny programme…
Russell: Blossom’s on Monday.
George: Are you sure? Oh, look who I’m talking to. The president of NBC.
Russell: Look Mister Costanza, it’s too late now anyway. I already made a deal with another writing team.
George: Alright, alright. Look, we’re people, you and me, huh?  Businessmen. Colleagues, if I may. Let’s not quibble. We’ll do it for the thirteen thousand. Thirteen thousand, and I never came up here, we never talked, alright. You take good care. It was nice seeing you again, and nice meeting you. Cynthia, right?
Russell: Alright, now look. These deals are already made.
George: Awright, lemme just say this. Ten thousand dollars, alright, and now I’m going below what you wanted to pay. You have your dinner, have your veal, or whatever it is. Enjoy…
Russell: Mister Costanza.
George: Alright, that’s it. Alright, good, eight thousand dollars. Cynthia, again, nice meeting you. Have I commented on the shoes? I love suede, it’s so thick and rich. Did you ever, you ever rub it against the grain? Alright, anyway…
Cynthia: Russell, can we eat?
Russell: Alright. Eight thousand.
George: You’ve made Jerry very happy…May I just use your bathroom for a moment?


Russell: Well, come in. Awfully sorry to make you come up here, but I really wasn’t feeling well enough to go back to the office, and well, it’s the only chance I have to meet with you this week.
Jerry: Are you alright?
Russell: Well, it’s my stomach. I think there must have been something in the pasta primavera I had for lunch.
Jerry: Where did you eat?
Russell: Pfeiffer’s.
Jerry: Ah. I know the chef there.
Russell: Yeah. The food’s usually terrific.
George: My cousin worked for Bouchard’s. They used to use the bouilla-base for a toilet.
Russell: What are you saying?
George: Well, you didn’t hear it from me, but needless to say, if you go in there – stick with the consumee.
Russell: Well, we’d better get started, my daughter’s going to be here soon.
Jerry: Oh, you have a daughter?
Russell: Yeah, she just turned fifteen last week.
George: Aw, that’s a fun age.
Russell: Alright. The script. Now, I’ve read this thing three times…and every time I read it…
Jerry: What?
Russell: Excuse me for a second.


Russell: Oh. Hello.
George: Pasta primavera! Back on the horse.
Jerry: You know, it’s a funny thing, because after the pilot got cancelled, we hadn’t heard from you.
George: Didn’t hear anything…
Jerry: Didn’t know…we were wondering…what happened.
Russell: It just didn’t seem to be the right project for us right now. So, what were you saying?
George: Oh…uh, because if it had anything at all to do with what you perceived as me leering at your daughter, I really have to take issue with that. I did not leer. Did I leer?
Jerry: No leer.
Elaine: Excuse me, are you using that ketchup?
Russell: Uh, no.


George: Because, if I’m looking straight ahead, and something enters my field of vision, that’s merely a happenstance.
Russell: Under the circumstances, I don’t really feel that we should be in business together.
Elaine: Here’s your ketchup back. You know, I had the hardest time trying to get some out. I mean, I just kept pounding and pounding on the bottom of it. Do you have any trouble?
Russell: No.
Elaine: Do you have a…ketchup secret?
Russell: No, I… …don’t have a ketchup secret.
Elaine: Because if you do have a ketchup secret, I would really, really like to know what it is.
Russell: Field of vision, huh?


Russell: I really appreciate you coming.
Elaine: Oh, that’s O.K. I don’t have much time though. So…
Russell: All right, first of all, I want to apologize for all the phone calls. It’s just–It’s just–I don’t understand, we went out once…
Elaine: That was two months ago.
Russell: Yes I know. I just– I can’t get you out of my mind. Ever since that– that day in the restaurant when we met…
Elaine: Russell, you are the president of NBC. You can have any woman you want.
Russell: But I want you.
Elaine: God I hate these mixtures. Why don’t they just put pretzels on the table. Even peanuts would be good, but I don’t know how eats these cheesy things.
Russell: Is it something I said… or did?
Elaine: Um… Look Russell… You’re a very sweet guy. But I got to be honest with you. I don’t like television… and that’s your world. That’s your life. I mean maybe if you were in… I don’t know… Greenpeace or something, that would be different, but network television… I mean, come on, Russell, you’re part of the problem.
Russell: Oh Elaine, we’re doing some really very interesting things right now. We’ve got some very exciting pilots for next season. We have one with a bright young comedian, Jerry Seinfeld.
Elaine: Oh yeah, oh yeah. I’ve heard of him. He’s that “Did you ever notice this? Did you ever notice that?” guy.
Russell: Yeah. Anyway it’s a ground breaking show.
Elaine: Really? What is it about?
Russell: Well, really, it’s very unusual. It’s about nothing.
Elaine: What do you mean it’s about nothing?
Russell: For example, what did you do today?
Elaine: Um, I got up. Um, I went to work. Then I came here.
Russell: There’s a show. that’s a show.
Elaine: Russell, see, I’m really not interested in this stuff and I do have to go to work. So…
Russell: Elaine, When–when–when are we gonna see each other again.
Elaine: I’m sorry Russell. I’m sorry O.K.? Bye-bye