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Sidra – The Implant

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Played by: Teri Hatcher

Appears in The Implant

Elaine suspects that Jerry’s new girlfriend Sidra has fake breasts. When she meets her in a sauna at the gym, she accidentally trips into her and gets a feel. Turns out “they’re real, and they’re spectacular.” Sidra thinks that Jerry sent his friend in the sauna to do that and storms out of his apartment.

Sidra Quotes:

Sidra: Oh, hi Jerry.
Jerry: Hi, Sidra. I usually last about ten minutes on a Stairmaster. Unless of course there’s someone stretching in front of me in a leotard, then I can go an hour.
Sidra: Really.
Jerry: Oh, yeah. That’s why they call it a Stairmaster. You get up there and you stare.
Sidra: Well, I’m done. I think I’m gonna go take a sauna.
Jerry: Alright, I’ll see you Thursday night, right?
Sidra: Thursday night.
Jerry: Alright.

Sidra: So anyway, we go out on one date, he asks me out for a second, then out of nowhere he cancels the date and says he doesn’t want to see me again.
Elaine: Uh…sorry, I couldn’t help overhearing.
Sidra: Oh, that’s o.k.
Elaine: Did he give you a reason?
Sidra: Yeah. He’s going back to his old girlfriend.
Elaine: Really?
Sidra: He said she’s mentally ill. He’s one of those guys who is obsessed with neatness and order? Everything has gotta be just so. He would have made a great Nazi.
Elaine: Hey, does he ever talk about Superman?
Sidra: Yes! How did you know?
Elaine: Oh, I know the type.
Sidra: So you can relate?
Elaine: Oh, yeah.
Sidra: You know, I’ve seen you around the club. My name’s Sidra. This is Marcy.
Elaine: Oh, hi. I’m Elaine.

Sidra: I don’t know what I’m doing here, I must be crazy.
Jerry: Hey, would you mind switching seats?
Sidra: Why?
Jerry: Oh, I don’t know…I just like sitting to the left of people, makes me feel like I’m driving.
Sidra: O.K….
Jerry: How ya doin’?
Sidra: Good. How you doin’?
Jerry: Good, feel good…you know that Jayne Mansfield had some big breasts. Really big, huge…just coming out the top of her dress, they were like, chokin’ her.
Sidra: I hear that’s how she died.
Jerry: Have you noticed that women today are, you know, they seem…bigger.
Sidra: Well, a lot of women are having them done.
Jerry: Really?
Sidra: Yeah.
Jerry: How do you like that.
Sidra: A lot of people ask me if I’ve had mine done.
Jerry: Aw, you know people.
Sidra: It gets a little tiring, it’s really none of their business.
Jerry: Oh, the nerve. You know, some people have asked me if you’ve uh, done that.
Sidra: What do you tell them?
Jerry: Whatever you want me to tell them.
Sidra: Well, I think you’ll find out soon enough. Aren’t you going to get that?
Jerry: No.
Sidra: What if it’s an emergency?
Jerry: Oh, there’s no emergency…
Kramer: Jerry! C’mon, it’s an emergency!

Elaine: Hi, Jer.
Jerry: Oh, hi, Elaine.
Elaine: Oh…hi, Sidra –
Sidra: Hi…Elaine?
Jerry: What are you doing here?
Elaine: I’m looking for Kramer.
Kramer: Yeah, she was just showing me pictures of places I can visit when I go to Puerto Rico…you know, when you two went down there?
Jerry: Oh. yeah. Alright. So, where were we?
Sidra: I was just leaving.
Jerry: Right, you were leaving.
Sidra: I can’t believe you sent a woman into the sauna to do that.
Jerry: That was an accident!
Sidra: I think you’re both mentally ill. And by the way…they’re real, and they’re spectacular.

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