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Sophie – The Burning

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sophie-the-burning-seinfeld

Played by: Cindy Ambuehl

Appears in The Burning

Jerry learns that Sophie has a secret she calls “the tractor story.” Turns out, she got gonorrhea from riding a tractor in her bathing suit, and she call THAT the tractor story!

Sophie Quotes:

Jerry: Hello?
Sophie: Hey. It’s me.
Jerry: Elaine?
Sophie: No, it’s me.
Jerry: George??
Sophie: Jerry, it’s Sophie. I can’t believe you don’t recognize my voice.
Jerry: Oh, I knew it was you, I was joking. I’m a comedian.


George: Alright, I’ll tell you what you do. You call her back and give her the “it’s me”, heh? Pull the old switcheroo.
Jerry: I think that’s a “what’s good for the goose is good for the gander”.
George: What the hell is a gander, anyway?
Jerry: It’s a goose that’s had the old
switcheroo pulled on it. Hi Sophie, it’s me.
Sophie: Hey Raef.
Jerry: She thinks it’s someone named Raef.
George: Good, let her think it.
Jerry: So, what’s going on?
Sophie: Not a lot.
George: Ask about you, ask about you.
Jerry: So, uh, how are things with Jerry?
Sophie: Oh, I really like him but, well, I still haven’t told him the tractor story.
Jerry: Right, right, the tractor story.
Sophie: Are you sick, Raef? You sound kinda funny.
Jerry: I sound funny?
George: Abort! Abort!
Jerry: Yeah I better get to a doctor, bye. (Hangs up) That was close! What drives me to take chances like that?
George: That was very real.
Jerry: She said there’s some tractor story that she hasn’t told me about.


Sophie: I move my knight… here. Check.
Jerry: They should update these pieces, nobody rides horses anymore. Maybe they should change it to a tractor.
Sophie: Jerry, are you embarrassed that you’re losing?
Jerry: Losing? You know, yesterday I lost control of my car, almost bought the farm.
Sophie: Bought the farm?
Jerry: Tractor!
Sophie: This is an odd side of you, Jerry. I feel uncomfortable.
Jerry: Wait, don’t go. Let’s thumb wrestle.


Sophie: You know, Jerry, there’s this thing that I haven’t told you about. See, there was this tractor and, oh boy, this is really difficult.
Jerry: Sophie, it’s me. I know about the tractor story and I’m fine with it.
Sophie: How could you know?
Jerry: Shh. Shh. Shh. It’s not important. What’s important is I’m not gonna let a little thing like that ruin what could be a very long-term and meaningful relationship.
(Kramer and Mickey barge in, they’re in the middle of an argument)
Kramer: …I didn’t say that, no.
Mickey: You gave me gonorrhea, you didn’t even tell me!
Kramer: Well, I’m sorry. I gave you gonorrhea because I thought you’d have fun with it.
Jerry: Hey, hey! I’m with someone.
Kramer: Oh. Hello.
Sophie: No, I understand. This could be a tough thing to deal with. The important thing is that you have a partner who’s supportive.
Kramer: You know? She’s right.
Sophie: Unfortunately, I didn’t have a partner. I got gonorrhea from a tractor.
Jerry: You got gonorrhea from a tractor?? And you call *that* your tractor story??
Kramer: You can’t get it from that.
Sophie: But I did. My boyfriend said I got gonorrhea from riding the tractor in my bathing suit.
Jerry: Alright, that’s it for me. You’ve been great. Goodnight everybody.


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