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George Costanza Biography

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George is the old high school friend of Jerry Seinfeld and appears in every episode in the series except The Pen during the third season. The character was originally based on Seinfeld co-creator Larry David, and was played by Jason Alexander. George is the son of Frank Costanza and Estelle Costanza, and though he never made an appearance on the show, George has twice mentioned that he also has a brother.

George and Jerry both attended John F. Kennedy High School, class of 1971 and during their high school years they would frequently hang out at Mario’s Pizzas. George was picked on by his gym teacher Mr. Heyman, who would intentionally mispronounced his name as “Can’t stand ya” and gave him atomic wedgies. Later they both attended Queens College.

Owning a terrible work ethic, George had a tumultuous career holding 12 jobs over the course of the series. After losing his job as a real estate agent, George adopted many jobs including hand modeling, parking cars, writing sitcoms, and was briefly on unemployment until landing a steady job with the New York Yankees, as the assistant to the traveling secretary.

George dates 47 women over the course of nine seasons and is engaged to Susan Ross until her untimely death. It is revealed that Susan died when she was exposed to a toxic glue from the cheap wedding invitations that George picked out.

George Costanza Biography
George Costanza Theories
George Costanza Ideas
George Costanza Antics
George Costanza Beliefs
George Costanza Career
George Costanza Accomplishments


George Costanza Biography:

Name:

George Louis Costanza

Alias:

Art Vandalay, Buck Naked, Donald O’Brien

Nicknames:

Koko the Monkey, Gammy, Lord of the Idiots, the Little Bulldog, Body Suit Man, Biff Loman, Mr. Weatherbee

Birthplace:

Brooklyn, New York

Religion:

Latvian Orthodox

Family:

Father – Frank Costanza
Mother – Estelle Costanza
Brother- mentioned but unknown
Uncle – Uncle Moe
Aunt -Aunt Baby
Cousin – Shelly
Cousin – George Howarth
Cousin – Rhisa

Education:

CIty University of New York-Queens College – 1980 – 1986 – Bachelor’s Degree
John F Kennedy High School – 1977 – 1980 – solid C average, right in the meaty part of the curve.

Girlfriends:

George dates 47 women over nine seasons. Click here to rate all of George Costanza’s girlfriends


George Costanza Theories:

Shrinkage

George brings his new girlfriend Jane on a weekend trip to the Hamptons with Jerry, Kramer and Elaine to see Carol and Ben’s new baby. George has never slept with Jane but is hoping that the weekend getaway will be the perfect opportunity. After swimming in the pool, George is seen naked by Jerry’s girlfriend Rachel, and he feels that he was short changed. Claiming shrinkage, he contends that if she thinks that was him, she’s under a complete misapprehension. Later, George becomes paranoid that Rachel told Jane about his underwhelming showing in the changing room. He begins acting so strange that Jane heads back to Manhattan in the middle of the night.

World’s Collide

Elaine has an extra ticket to the Met is looking for someone to go with. Realizing that she no longer has and female friends, Jerry suggests she invite George’s fiance Susan. According to George, “that was a really stupid thing to do, worlds are colliding!” The move pits Relationship George versus Independent George. Relationship George refering to George when he is with Susan, while Independent George refers to George when he is with his friends: movie George, coffee shop George, liar George, bawdy George… If the two George’s meet, Relationship George will destroy Independent George.

The Roommate Switch

George decides to help Jerry solve a problem with his new girldfirend when he decides that he would rather date her roomate, “Do you realize in the entire history of western civilization no one has successfully accomplished the Roommate Switch?” Eventually, he comes up with a great idea: suggest a menage-a-tois. The girl will recoil in disgust and tell you to get out. Later she will mention it to her roommate who will show her sympathy, yet cannot help but be intrigued and flattered by the suggestion. Later, place a phone call when the girl is known to be busy at work, and talk up the roommate using humor to invite her to dinner. The original girl will tell the roommate if she wants to go through the trouble of dating him, go ahead. It can’t fail.

The Power of Tears

George realizes the power of tears when he caves into Susan when she begins to cry “Its like she was on fire, I was just trying to put her out.” Later, he uses the power of tears and burst out crying when trying to get Susan to agree to postpone the wedding until March. “I bawled uncontrollably. I just poured my guts out. And I’ll tell you, Jerry:, it was incredible. I never realized how powerful these tears are. I could have postponed it another five years if I wanted to.”

The Timeless Art of Seduction

George develops a crush on a cute woman at the photo store, Sheila. Thinking that she slipped a racy selfie in with George’s photos, Kramer advises him, “It’s the timeless art of seduction . You got to join in the dance . She sends you an enticing photo , you send her one right back.” With Kramer’s help, George does an erotic photo shoot and brings the film back to Sheila for her to develop. Unfourtunately for George, Sheila asks her coworker Ron to develop the photos. When Ron sees George’s tasteful photos, he slips a photo of himself in with George’s developed photos.

Showmanship

George realizes that he can only come up with one good comment during meetings and by the end it’s usually buried under a pile of gaffs and bad puns. Taking Jerry’s advice, George decides to leave on a high note, like they do in Vegas. George begins to use this tactic with great success and begins to be perceived as interesting and funny. This causes his boss, Mr. Kruger, to take all of his co-workers off of a huge project because he thought that they were boring, leaving George to do all of the work by himself.

The Forbidden City

When George shares the story of his dead fiance with woman he is trying to pick up, he realizes that using a picture of a beautiful woman while telling the story gets other beautiful women to show interest in him. Dating a beautiful woman is like gaining access to a forbidden city, once you get your hand stamped, you can come and go as you please.

The Airport Pickup

George loses a bet with Jerry that he could touch an awning in front of a building and has to pick up Jerry at the airport when he loses. While telling Kramer that he can not express to you the feeling he gets from a perfect airport pickup, Kramer wants to confront an old roommate about unpaid rent, but George proclaims, “You can’t abandon people in the middle of an airport pickup. It’s a binding social contract.”

Look Annoyed, Look Busy

In an attempt to do nothing at work George comes up with the idea to always look annoyed. His reasoning is that when you look annoyed all the time, people think that you’re busy. “Right now, I sit around pretending that I’m busy. I always look annoyed. Yeah, when you look annoyed all the time, people think that you’re busy.” Thinking that he is overworking, Mr. Wilhelm decides to have George show the reps in from the Houston Astros a good time while they are in New York for inter league play.

The Casual Apple

George has a strategy to cover his nervousness when calling a woman for the first time, while on the phone he eats an apple. His thinking is that if they hear you chewing on the other end of the phone it makes you sound more casual. After hearing about this strategy, Jerry suggests, “don’t do the apples. That’s enough already with the apples.”

The Most Sociable Room in the House

Elaine and Jerry set up George and Cynthia on a blind date when they both complain of their hopeless dating lives. After going out one time they end up having sex in the kitchen. The first time George has sex with a woman, he feels that he performs better doing it in the kitchen, he says that the kitchen is always the most sociable room in the house.

You Must Give Credit

George goes to the coffee shop with his new girlfriend Julie and offers to pick up something for Elaine while they are there, so she asks him to get her a “Big Salad” to bring back. When they return to Jerry’s apartment, Julie hands Elaine the salad and Elaine thanks her for it. George gets upset when he is not given credit for buying the big salad: “What I would like to know is, how does a person who has nothing to do with the Big Salad claim responsibility for that salad and accept the thank-you under false pretenses?”

Women and Children for Themselves

While at a birthday party for his girlfriend Robin’s son, George smells smoke coming from the kitchen. After realizing that there is a fire, he runs out of the apartment pushing over the women and children that are in his way. Later when talking to Jerry about it, George reveals that “women and children first,” in this day and age, is somewhat of an antiquated notion.” Basically, it’s every man, woman, child, and invalid for themselves.


George Costanza Ideas:

Cotton Uniforms

George is shocked to discover that the Yankees uniforms are made of polyester. So he suggests that they switch their uniforms to cotton for the breath-ability of a natural fiber.

Extending the Bathroom Stall Doors

I will never understand the bathrooms in this country. Why is it that the doors on the stalls do not come all the way down to the floor?

Get a Deaf Woman to Read Lips

George wants Jerry to bring his new deaf girlfriend to a party so she can read lips to see what George’s girlfriend Gwen is saying about him, “its a skill, just like juggling. She probably likes to show it off.”

Name Your Child Seven

George promised the widow Mantel that he would name his child Seven, as a living tribute to his idol, Mickey Mantel.

Leave a Tape Recorder

George takes a move from Jerry Lewis, leaving a meeting early and leave a tape recorder behind to see what people are saying about him

85 Dollars Marked Down From 600

George buys a cashmere sweater as a Christmas gift for Elaine, but only because it was 85 dollars marked down from 600. It was discounted because it had a small red dot on it.

Toilet paper has never changed

George proclaims that toilet paper has never changed, and never will change in his lifetime. Though Jerry points out, it’s softer, there are more sheets per roll, and it comes in a wide variety of colors.

Get Your Girlfriend Fired

After dating a waitress from the coffee shop, George tries to get her fired as it becomes awkward when they break up. So he begins calling her at work in an effort to get her boss mad enough to fire her.


George Costanza Antics:

The summer of George

George discovers his severance package from the New York Yankees should last him about three months, so he decides that he will take full advantage of the time off and become very active. However, instead becoming more active as planned, George becomes incredibly lazy. Eventually, he teams up with Jerry acting as his dating assistant for his new girlfriend Lanette. When she needs invitations to a party, George picks them up, but on the way back to his apartment he stops in the park to play “frolf.” Back at his apartment, an invitation falls out of the box and lands on the stairs. When George leaves again to deliver the invitations, he slips on the invitation and falls down the stairs, sending him to the hospital. He spend the rest of the summer rehabbing and learning to walk again.

Use Fruit to Overcome ED

George begins to have trouble with erectile dysfunction while dating his new girlfriend Karin. “I knew this was gonna happen some day. It was inevitable. I’ve known it ever since I was a little kid. I’ve been waiting for it.” But he finds the cure when Kramer brings over some fruit from Joe’s fruit stand and he tries the mango, “this Joe’s got some terrific fruit…I feel like I got a B12 shot. This is like a taste explosion!…I think it moved. Oh my god, I think it moved. Yeah, give me the big piece. I’ll see you later.”

Converting to Lutheran Orthodox

George’s girlfriend Sasha tells him that they cannot continue to go out because she is Latvian Orthodox and is only allowed to date Latvian Orthodox men by her parents. Later, Elaine suggests that he convert for Sasha which George thinks is a great idea and comparing it to Edward VIII, “King Edward, like King Edward Jerry!” While meeting with a priest to discuss his conversion, George is asked what aspect of the religion, and he responds that he likes “the hats.” He also says he knows the “basic plot,” the Flood, the lepers, the Commandments. Eventually, George’s mother finds out and begs him to explain his decision, to which George responds simply, “for a woman!”

Wear a Wedding Band to Attract Women

George decides to conduct a sociological experiment and borrows a wedding band from Kramer that belonged to his father. George believes that women will be more attracted to him if he is wearing a wedding ring and decides to test it out at a party. The plan backfires on him when he meets two incredible women who dismiss him because he is already married. “I just threw away a lifetime of guilt-free sex and floor seats for ever sporting event in Madison Square Garden. So please, a little respect. For I am Costanza. Lord of the Idiots!”

Visiting a Holistic Healer

While at the coffee shop, George thinks he is having a heart attack and they have him transported to a hospital. While there, it is discovered that he actually needs a tonsillectomy. Kramer recommends to George that he visit a holistic healer as less expensive alternative. Despite Jerry’s warning that the healer Kramer is recommending, Eckman, had spent time in prison. But due to the large differences in cost, George decides to take Kramer’s advice.

The Move

Jerry invents a complex sexual technique and shares it with George promising that if George can master it, he’ll “never be alone again. While the move is never fully revealed, it requires a headboard with no padding, no more than a one foot height differential, and ends with a clockwise swirl. George attempts to use it on his girlfriend at the time, but she catches him with crib notes detailing the maneuvers written on his hand. Later George complains that it was a complicated move.

Hire an Ugly Secretary

George needs to hire a secretary and decides to pass on the attractive women so he can concentrate on his work, hiring Ada, a very plain but efficient secretary. George and Ada become attracted to each other and end up having sex at work, during which George accidentally screams out, “I’m giving you a raise!” When George talks to Steinbrenner, he ends up giving Ada a $25,000 raise, which means now that Ada earns more than George.

Wants to be Draped in Velvet

While on a double date with Jerry, George finds a doodle that his girlfriend Paula drew of him. George met Paula at Elaine’s drawing class so he asks her to find out if Paula really likes him. Elaine talks to Paula and tells him that she really likes him and that looks aren’t even that important to her. This makes George upset believing that Paula must think he is ugly, so he confronts her and she confirms her feelings, informing George that he could drape himself in velvet for all she cares. So George takes her up on it and wears a velvet jumpsuit to the coffee shop, fulfilling a dream of being completely ensconced in velvet.

Can’t be Massaged by a Man

Jerry, George, and Elaine get free physical therapy massages by getting a note for insurance from Jerry’s friend Roy who is a dentist. George becomes very uncomfortable when he finds out that his message therapist is a man and is very awkward throughout the entire session. Afterwards he tells Jerry that he thinks ‘it moved’ and starts to question his own sexual orientation. He thinks that any movement caused by a man fails the “gay test”.

Know the Best Public Restrooms in the City

George brags to Jerry about his ability to identify the best public toilet anywhere in the city just by giving him a location. “Fifty-fourth and Sixth? Sperry Rand Building. 14th floor, Morgan Apparel. Mention my name – she’ll give you the key.” Years after the show ended, in the seventh season of Curb Your Enthusiasm, Larry David wrote a Seinfeld reunion episode in which George has used this knowledge to develop an iPhone app called the iToilet “an iphone application that leads you via your GPS to the nearest acceptable toilet wherever you are in the world.”

Peeing in the Shower

George gets in trouble at the health club when he urinates in the shower. It’s all pipes! What’s the difference?” But he fears that he may be reported to management by a man Elaine has her eye on. When he discovers that Elaine is friends with George, he threatens to tell management but Elaine threatens to report him when he forgets to wipe his sweat off a machine after using it.

Lies About Being an Architect

George has always wanted to be an architect or least pretend to be an architect. He first mentions this desire to Jerry when they needed an excuse to give to a woman as they are waited in the lobby of the office building where she works. He also claims to be an architect in order to fool an old rival from high school, Duncan Meyer. George claimed that he was now a millionaire architect and that he recently designed the new addition to the Guggenheim. He also gets upset with Jerry when he lies to an ld friend from college that he is a Marine Biologist because he prefers to lie about being an architect

Lies About Being a Marine Biologist

Jerry bumps into Diane DeConn, the “it girl” from back in college, and he tells her a lie that George has really made something of himself and become a marine biologist. Now George is expecting her to call, but he is upset because he would rather lie to her about being an architect. While on a date with Diane, they take a walk on the beach and George continues to lie about his job. Later he is called upon to use his marine biology skills to save a whale that had become beached on the shore. The episode ends with George retelling the story of his struggle, revealing that the whale’s blowhole had been blocked by a golf ball that Kramer hit into the ocean.


George Costanza Beliefs:

Do the Opposite

George hits a rough patch in life “why did it all turn out like this for me? I had so much promise. I was personable, I was bright. Oh, maybe not academically speaking, but … I was perceptive. I always know when someone’s uncomfortable at a party.” Believing he is a failure, George decides to do the opposite of every instinct that he has and approaches a strange woman at the coffee shop. Later, George lands a job as the Assistant to the travelling secretary with the New York Yankees when he berates George Stienbrenner for his moves as an owner (the opposite of his instinct). Realizing the genius of his idea it causes him to proclaim “this is no longer just some crazy notion. Jerry, this is my religion.”

Never give out your secret bank code

George and Susan get into a fight when George refuses to tell her his secret ATM code, believing it to not be selfish for him to have some secrets. While at the funeral, a fire breaks out next door at Leaping Larry’s Appliances, and everyone rushes to find a man with his sleeve stuck in an ATM; Peterman insists that George give the man his ATM card, forcing George to finally reveal his code.

Abstinence makes you smarter

George learns that his girlfriend Louise has mononucleosis, so he can’t have sex with her for six weeks. George soon discovers that the lack of sex makes his mind sharper; finding that he is learning new things much quicker and is now smarter. When Elaine tries to motivate her boyfriend to become a doctor by withholding sex, she learns that it has the opposite effect on her, making her stupider. Eventually, George meets a Portuguese waitress,  and calculates the odds of having sex with a Portuguese waitress, concluding that statistically, he had to do it.

Double Dip a Chip

George accompanies his girlfriend Betsy to Detroit for her aunt’s wake and tries to get a copy of her death certificate so he can get a 50% discount on the airfare. While at the reception, he gets in an argument with his Betsy’s brother Timmy when he accuses George of double-dipping a chip. George responds “You dip the way you want to dip… I’ll dip the way I want to dip.”


George Costanza Career:

NBC – Sitcom Writer

May 1998 – May 1998 (1 month)
Season 9 – The Finale
Bosses: James Kimbrough, Jay Crespi, Stu Chermak

Kruger Industrial Smoothing – Employee

November 1997 – April 1998 (6 months)
Season 9 – The Slicer – The Maid
Boss; Mr Kruger

Constanza & Son – Computer Salesman

October 1997 – October 1997 (1 month)
Season 9 – The Serenity Now
Boss: Frank Costanza

Play Now Sports – Playground Equipment Sales Representative

September 1997 – October 1997 (2 months)
Season 9 – The Butter Shave – The Voice
Boss: Mr. Tomasulo

The Summer of George – Unemployed

June 1997 – September 1997 (4 months)
The Summer of George – Summer 1997

New York Yankees – Assistant to the Traveling Secretary

May 1994 – May 1997 (3 years 1 month)
Season 5 – 8 – The Opposite – The Muffin Tops
Bosses: George Steinbrenner, Mr. Wilhelm

Sanalac – a Rest Stop Supply Co. – Sales Representative

November 1993 – November 1993 (1 month)
Season 5 – The Barber
Boss: Mr. Tuttle

E.D. Granmont Bras – Bra Salesman

October 1993 – October 1993 (1 month)
Season 5 – The Sniffing Accountant
Boss: Sid Farkus

Specialty Models – Hand Model

September 1993 – September 1993 (1 month)
Season 5 – The Puffy Shirt

NBC – Sitcom Writer for Jerry

September 1992 – May 1993 (9 months)
Season 4 – The Pitch – The Pilot
Bosses: Russell Dalrymple, Jay Crespi, Stu Chermak, Susan Ross

Unemployed

February 1992 – February 1992 (1 month)
Season 3 – The Boyfriend

Pendant Publishing – Manuscript Reader

December 1991 – December 1991 (1 month)
Season 3 – The Red Dot
Boss: Mr Lippman

Sid’s Parking Services – Parking Attendant

December 1991 – December 1991 (1 month)
Season 2 – The Alternate Side
Boss: Sid

Rick Barr Properties – Real Estate Agent

July 1989 – April 1991 (1 year 10 months)
Season 1-2 The Seinfeld Chronicles – The Revenge
Boss: Rick Levitan

 

Click here for a full list of George Costanza’s jobs


George Costanza Accomplishments:

Frogger high score

When Jerry and George learn that their old hangout, Mario’s Pizza, is going out of business they decide to go back to the old neighborhood for one last slice. While there, George discovers that he still has the high score on the Frogger machine and decides to purchase the machine so it will live on forever. Enlisting some help from Kramer and his associate Slippery Pete, George designs a plan for removing the Frogger machine without losing the high score. As it turns out, Slippery Pete is not the expert handyman that Kramer portrayed and George is forced to move the Frogger machine across a busy street. He almost makes it too, until an 18 wheeler plows through the machine almost taking out George in the process

Master of his domain

After George’s mother catches him pleasuring himself to a Glamour magazine, Jerry, George, Kramer, and Elaine have a contest to see who can be “master of their domain” the longest. Kramer drops out almost immediately in response to a woman across the street walking around naked. Elaine is the next to fall when she meets JFK Jr. in a workout class and arranges plans for them to go out sometime. George is eventually deeded the winner when Jerry, who is dating a virgin, reveals that he is no longer the master of his domain. However in the Finale, George admits that he cheated when they think that they are going to die in a plane crash.

Susan Ross Foundation Board Member

After his fiance dies, George tries to move on but her parents want to keep her memory alive by creating a foundation in her honor, which ruins George’s newfound happiness as they want George to sit on the board of directors. George finds out that he stood to inherited some of Susan’s millions if they had been married, but now he is forced to watch as everything is auctioned off to the highest bidder.

Founder of The Human Fund

To avoid giving real Christmas gifts around the office, George makes up a fake charity called, ‘The Human Fund’, which Mr. Kruger donates $20,000 to. George contiplates keeping the money, thinking that he could become a “kickass philanthropist.” Later Kruger finds out that the charity does not exist and confronts George as to why he gave him a “fake Christmas gift”, George comes up with the response that he gave out the fake cards to avoid being persecuted for beliefs since he doesn’t celebrate Christmas, but Festivus instead. To prove to Mr. Kruger that Festivus is real, George invites him to a Festivus dinner at his parents’ house.

Rageaholics Anonymous

George learns that a childhood friend, “Stanky Hanky”, is a recovering alcoholic and as part of Step 9 in his recovery, is apologizing for all his misdeeds. But George gets angry when he does not receive an apology from Stanky Hanky for insulting him at a party a few years ago by refusing to give George a sweater. Fearing it would be stretched out by George’s big head. But Stanky Hanky refuses to apologize, saying that George’s does have a large head, and that the sweater was expensive. This enrages George so much that he is brought to an anger management class to get help.