Based on the overwhelmingly positive response to our post where we recapped all 66 of Jerry’s girlfriends, we decided the next step was to document Costanza’s – Lord of the Idiots.
We cataloged all 47 of George Costanza’s girlfriends in order of appearance below.
George’s Girlfriends Throughout the Show
Tweet me and let me know your favorite – @KramerApartment
And of course, we will never forget the day of the big race. That was the day that George lost his virginity to Miss. Stafford, his voluptuous home room teacher.
Played by: Tracy Kolis
Appears in The Ex-Girlfriend
George decides he wants to break up with his girlfriend Marlene, who has a tendency to drag out conversations and leaves irritating messages for him on his answering machine.
After the split, he realizes that he left some books in her apartment and persuades Jerry to go over and get them for him.
After he gets the books, Jerry and Marlene to start date, and Jerry finds her just as annoying as George did.
Jerry decides to tell George that he is now dating Marlene and George surprisingly says that he has no problem with it.
Played by: Valerie Mahaffey
Appears in The Truth
George’s girlfriend Patrice is a representative for the IRS and gives Jerry’s tax papers to her so she can help him through an audit. But George has trouble with the strange way that she pronounces things like calling his doorman, Sammy, “Samuel” but she doesn’t even say “Samuel” she says “Sam – U- EL” …
Papie-eh Mach-eh! What is Papie-ay Mach-ay? George tells the truth to Patrice and they break up, a move that upsets Jerry, as she took the tax papers with her.
Played by: Dawn Arnemann
Appears in The Cafe
George is worried when his girlfriend, Monica, asks him to take an IQ test to help her with her education course. When it is revealed that Elaine has a high IQ,
George asks her to take the test for him. So she takes the test at the Dream Cafe and is distracted by Jerry and Kramer.
It is revealed that she does poorly and gets an 85, so she insists that she try again.
This time, Elaine takes the test at Jerry’s apartment and does very well, but Elaine is too late to return the test to George and Monica finds out.
Played by: Susan Diol
Appears in The Nose Job
George thinks that his girlfriend Audrey is beautiful, except for her large nose. During a conversation about beautiful women, Kramer bluntly tells her she needs a nose job. Audrey ends up getting the procedure done, but they butchered the job.
George ends up dumping her before she gets the nose fixed but soon realizes he made a big mistake when Kramer takes Audrey on a date to the Reggae Lounge and looks amazing.
Played by: Bridget Sienna
Appears in The Red Dot
George is fired from Pendant Publishing when it comes to the attention of Mr. Lippman, that George engaged in sexual intercourse on his desk with the cleaning woman, Evie. To which George replies “was that wrong? Should I not have done that?”
Hey Costanza, next time, don’t re-gift her a faulty sweater. You should grabbing some discounted Empire State Building tickets. Give me a shout next time bud.
Talk about some great views of Manhattan, ay Georgie-Boy?
Played by: Elizabeth Morehead
Appears in The Pez Dispenser
George is troubled over the fact that he has no “hand” in his relationship with Noelle, and fears that she is going to break up with him. After taking some advice from Kramer, George preemptively breaks up with her, causing her to want him more and thus giving him the all the “hand” he could ever want.
Played by: Maggie Wheeler
Appears in The Fix Up
Jerry and Elaine set up George with Elaine’s friend Cynthia. George and Cynthia hit it off on their first date and end up having sex in George’s kitchen, which he says is always the most sociable room in the house.
A few days later, Kramer tells George that the condoms he gave him were defective and Elaine accidentally reveals that Cynthia missed her period. George is overjoyed to find out that he is able to get a woman pregnant, and promises to help Cynthia raise the kid. She tells him she already got her period, but due to his actions, they make up and become a couple.
Played by: Carol Ann Susi
Appears in The Boyfriend
In an attempt to buy more time with the unemployment office, George asks Mrs. Sokol if he can take her daughter out on a date. Unfortunately, Carrie is as unpleasant as she is ugly and even George has trouble feigning interest in her.
He lies about having a job interview at a hardware store on Saturday in order to not come up to her apartment after their date.
Played at: Ann Talman
Appears in The Good Samaritan
George and Elaine go out to dinner with a married couple and when the wife sneezes, George says “God bless you”, but her husband doesn’t say anything. When George points this out, the husband Michael gets mad, causing Robin to become attracted to George, and they end up having an affair.
When Michael calls Elaine to find out where his wife is, he figures out that she is with George, causing him to exclaim “He’s finished!”
Played by: Heidi Swedberg
First appears in The Pitch, last appears in The Betrayal, appears in 28 episodes
Susan is George’s fiance for all of season seven who he met while pitching a sitcom for NBC (season 4). Over the course of their relationship George gets Susan fired, puked on, her father’s cabin burned down, and exposes her father’s affair with John Cheever.
After a brief separation in which Susan began to date women, George proposes to Susan, who, after a few hours of convincing, agrees. George slowly realizes that he made a mistake and tries everything to get her to break up with her, including smoking and asking her to sign a prenuptial agreement.
Luckily for George, Susan dies due to licking toxic glue on the envelopes of the wedding invitations that George picked out.
Played by: Maggie Han
Appears in The Visa
George meets Cheryl, an Asian lawyer and cousin to Ping the Chinese food delivery boy, who thinks he is very funny. When he plans a double date with Jerry and Elaine, he is afraid that he will be upstaged by Jerry’s humor.
While she is in the bathroom, George gets Jerry to promise that he will try hard not to be funny around her. Jerry attempts to do this when Cheryl returns, but gives her the impression that he is dark and disturbed, which attracts her even more.
Played by: Kari Coleman
Appears in The Outing
While at the coffee shop, Elaine notices a woman in the next booth eavesdropping on their conversation, so as a joke she speaks to Jerry and George as if they are a gay couple. The woman turns out to be an NYU reporter who is planning to interview Jerry.
Later, she visits Jerry’s apartment to conduct the interview and solidifies her misconception that they are gay. Jerry ends up dating the college reporter, in an attempt to convince her that he is heterosexual.
Later, George decides to use the misunderstanding as an excuse to break up with his girlfriend, Alison. George tries to act gay with Jerry in front of Alison to prove that they’re homosexuals but she doesn’t buy it.
Played by: Megan Mullally
Appears in The Implant
George accompanies his girlfriend Betsy to Detroit for her aunt’s wake. While there, he tries to get a copy of her death certificate so he can get a death in the family discount from the airline.
While at the funeral, he argues with Betsy’s brother Timmy when she accuses him of double-dipping a chip. Without the death certificate, George attempts to get the discount by presenting a picture of himself standing next to the casket, to no avail.
Played by: Lisa Edelstein
Appears in The Mango and The Masseuse
George is lacking confidence in bed with his new girlfriend Karen, thinking that she is faking orgasms. He becomes so obsessed with his performance in bed that he has trouble getting aroused.
Later, George ends up buying fruit for Kramer and Jerry after they are both banned from Joe’s fruit stand. When George tastes one of Kramer’s mangoes, it reinvigorates his sex drive, “I think it moved!”
At the end of the episode, Karen kicks George out of her apartment when he insults her after sex, doubting that she really had an orgasm. Later in The Masseuse, George neglects Karen when he become attracted to Jerry’s girlfriend, Jodi, who dislikes George so much… it’s irresistible.
Played by: Linda Kash
Appears in The Lip Reader
Gwen breaks up with George, using his favorite line, “it’s not you, it’s me”. But George believes that Gwen is breaking up with him because he appeared on TV sloppily eating an ice cream sunday at the US Open.
George gets the idea to take Jerry’s deaf girlfriend, Laura, to a party so she can read Gwen’s lips to see what she is saying about him. They arrive at the party and meet Laura who watches Gwen’s conversation and signs to Kramer who voices it out loud.
When Kramer mistakenly says that Todd asks Gwen to ‘sleep’ with him, George rushes up to them and tells them that he heard everything. When Gwen corrects him, he starts shouting at Laura and Kramer until he accidentally trips over a table and crashes the party.
Played by: Jana Marie Hupp
Appears in The Conversion
George is upset about losing his girlfriend Sasha because she is Latvian Orthodox and is only allowed to date Latvian Orthodox men. Elaine suggests that George convert for Sasha, which George thinks is a great idea, comparing it to Edward VIII.
Instead of studying for his conversion test, George decides to cheat by writing the answers on his hand and ends up passing. When George tell Sasha that he converted for her, she tells him that she is moving to Latvia to live with some relatives for a year.
Played by: Rosalind Allen
Appears in The Marine Biologist
Jerry bumps into his old friend Diane from Queens College and lies to her that George is now a marine biologist. George, who is expecting a call from her, is upset because he always wanted to lie about being an architect. After a phone call where George tries to sound like a marine biologist, he asks her out for a date.
While taking a walk on the beach, they discover a beached whale, and Diane pleads with George to save it. After a struggle, George discovers that something is obstructing the whales breathing, and turns out to be a golf ball that was hit into the ocean by Kramer, “a hole in one.”
Played by: Karla Tamburrelli
Appears in The Stand-In
George wants to breakup with his girlfriend Daphne when he becomes bored because he has nothing to talk about. Daphne tells George that Al Netchi encouraged her to end the relationship because George can’t commit and may end up hurting her.
George decides to postpone the break-up and sustain the relationship just to spite Al Netchi, even telling Jerry that he would go as far as to marry her just to prove he can commit.
Played by: Melanie Chartoff
Appears in The Fire
George is dating Robbin, a single woman who has a young son. While attending her son’s birthday party, George can’t get over the fact that “Eric the Clown” doesn’t know who Bozo is.
Later, George panics when a small fire breaks out in the kitchen and he runs out the front door, pushing down children, a senior citizen, and Eric the clown in the process, leaving them all behind. Eric apparently saved the day by putting out the fire with one of his big shoes.
Played by: Melora Walters
Appears in The Hamptons
Jerry, George, Kramer, and Elaine all travel up to the Hamptons to see their friend Carol and Michael’s baby. While out buying tomatoes, George’s girlfriend goes sun tanning topless in front of Jerry, Kramer, and Elaine. Outraged, George demands to see Jerry’s girlfriend Rachel naked, but his attempts are fruitless.
While changing later, after swimming in the pool, George is seen naked by Rachel, and tries to explain that having just gotten out of the cold water, he is a victim of penile “shrinkage” by yelling “I was in the pool! I was in the pool!” Rachel tells Jane about the “shrinkage” and she abruptly heads back to the city in the middle of the night.
Played by: Dedee Pfeiffer
Appears in The Opposite
George realizes that every decision he has ever made in his life has been wrong, and therefore his life is the exact opposite of what it should be. While telling this to Jerry at Monk’s, he convinces George that “if every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right”.
So George decides to start doing the complete opposite of what he would do normally. He orders the opposite of his normal lunch, “chicken salad, on rye, untoasted, and a cup of coffee” and then introduces himself to a woman named Victoria who ordered the exact same same lunch, saying, “My name is George. I’m unemployed and I live with my parents.” Somehow, she is impressed and agrees to date him.
Played by: Michelle Forbes
Appears in The Big Salad
Elaine’s asks George to purchase a “big salad” for her while he and his girlfriend Julie go to Monk’s. When they return to Jerry’s, Julie takes credit for the purchase when she hands the big salad to Elaine the salad.
George is upset that Elaine thanked Julie for the salad so he mentions to Elaine that he was the one that actually made the purchase. In George’s view, it was not that Elaine thanked the wrong person, but that Julie accepted the thanks, “what I would like to know is, how does a person who has nothing to do with the Big Salad claim responsibility for that salad and accept the thank-you under false pretenses?”
Played by: Jessica Hecht
Appears in The Couch and The Gymnast
George joins a book club to impress his girlfriend and is assigned to read Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Finding it difficult to concentrate, George tries to rent the movie instead and ends up watching the movie at the apartment of a man named Joe and his daughter Remy who had rented the last copy.
Played by: Charlotte Lewis
Appears in The Switch
George is dating Nina, a model with a healthy appetite, and Kramer gives him the idea that she may be bulimic. While at dinner with Nina she feasts on food and then goes to the bathroom to “freshen up”. Now George strongly suspects that Nina is bulimic and wants to get a matron to spy on her in the bathroom.
It is revealed that Kramer’s mother, Babs happens to be a matron, but Kramer hasn’t seen her in years. When they visit to ask her help, she yells out Kramer’s first name, Cosmo, the first time in the series we hear Kramer’s first name.
Played by: Jessica Tuck
Appears in The Label Maker
George becomes upset when he learns that his new girlfriend Bonnie, who has a great apartment, has a male roommate named Scott. George tries to persuade Bonnie into getting Scott to move out, and when she agrees he realizes that he is now the most important man in her life.
George soon discovers that all the things he liked about Bonnie’s apartment, including the velvet couch and the television, belonged to Scott which makes George regret what he had done.
Desperate to get out of the relationship, George asks her if she is interested in ménage à trois, hoping that she will be disgusted and dump him. Instead, he learns that both she and Scott are interested.
Played by: Joan Scheckel
Appears in The Beard
George is wearing a toupee and Kramer tries to set him up on a date, but he doesn’t have a picture of her so they go to the police station so a sketch artist can draw them a picture. George meets Denise at Monk’s and learns that she is wearing a hat to hide her baldness.
George arrives at Jerry’s apartment disgusted, saying that Denise is bald and tells Kramer this which is a surprise to him. After arguing that George is bald too, Elaine angrily throws his toupee out the window. Now toupee-less and defeated, George tells Jerry he is himself again, and will continue to see Denise.
Played by: Christa Miller
Appears in The Doodle
George complains to Jerry about a doodle his new girlfriend Paula drew, finding it an ugly caricature of himself. At a drawing class, Paula confesses to Elaine that she likes George, adding “looks aren’t that important to me.” When George asks about Paula’s interest in him, Elaine says Paula really likes him and doesn’t care about physical appearances.
George becomes upset, declaring that Paula must think he is ugly, and states that he would prefer to be hated and handsome rather than liked and ugly.
Played by: Marla Sucharetza
Appears in The Fusilli Jerry
George tells Jerry he needs a new move to perform with his new girlfriend, Nancy so Jerry explains his move. George upsets Nancy when trying to perform the move in bed saying “it feels like aliens poking at my body.”
Back at Jerry’s apartment George says that he probably should have written the move down because it was too complicated. Later, George performs the move with Nancy, but is soon busted when she finds out that he wrote the directions for the move on his hand.
Played by: Katy Selverstone
Appears in The Face Painter
George tries to tell his girlfriend Sienna that he loves her but she doesn’t return the gesture. Sienna works with primates at the zoo where Kramer learns that she can’t hear well out of her left ear.
Upon learning this, George attempts to tell her that he loves her again to which she replies, “yeah, I heard you.”
Played by: Marisa Tomei
Appears in The Cadillac
George reconsiders his engagement to Susan, when Elaine’s friend reveals that she is friends with Marisa Tomei, and that she love short, stocky, bald men. Obsessed, George wants to meet Marisa for a cup of coffee, but Elaine insists that it’s still cheating.
Eventually George gets her number from Elaine and goes for a walk in the park with Marisa until she punches him when he reveals that he is engaged.
Played by: Rebecca McFarland
Appears in The Little Kicks
When Elaine reluctantly allows George to attend her company party, he hits on one of Elaine’s employees, Anna, but she doesn’t seem interested. When Elaine dances at the party, her staff loses all respect for her, and Elaine mistakenly believes that this lack of respect is due to George’s presence at the party, so she advises Anna to stay away from George, because he is a bad seed. This causes Anna to think of George as a “bad boy”, making him more desirable to her.
Played by: Heather Campbell
Appears in The Package
George discovers that Sheila, a clerk at the photo store, is looking at his pictures and thinks that she has stuck a revealing picture of herself in with his pictures. So Kramer convinces George to return the “compliment” by sending a seductive picture to Sheila, and offers to take the photos himself. When the plan backfires Sheila ends up breaking up with George.
Played by: Kymberly Kalil
Appears in The Chicken Roaster
George meets Heather, a salesman who sold him a Sable hat. While discussing the upcoming date, George explains that if the prospect of a second date looks slim, he’ll simply pull a “leave-behind” as an excuse to come back later.
Played by: Tamara Bick
Appears in The Abstinence
George’s girlfriend Louise has mono and he can’t have sex with her for six weeks. The lack of sex makes George’s mind sharper and he finds the he is learning new things quickly and even learns Portuguese.
When George meets a Portuguese waitress, he calculates the odds of having sex with a Portuguese waitress, and decides that statistically, he has to do it, which reverts him to his normal intelligence.
Played by: Andrea Bendewald
Appears in The Little Jerry
When the Susan Ross Foundation makes a donation to a women’s prison, George gets to go there and check it out. While at the prison George asks out the prison’s librarian, Celia, liking the idea of dating a woman who’s in jail. When George finds out that Celia is up for parole, he tries to put a stop to it, as he likes the arrangement better when she’s in prison.
Played by: Shannon Kenny
Appears in The Susie
George’s plans to take his new girlfriend Allison to Steinbrenner’s ball to show her off but he finds out that she is planning to break up with him beforehand. He therefore goes to great lengths to avoid her, saying, “If she can’t find me, she can’t break up with me.” Finally, when she cannot find George to break up with him, she uses Kramer as a go-between and Kramer breaks up with George on her behalf.
Played by: Chelsea Noble
Appears in The English Patient
While at Monk’s, a beautiful woman, Danielle, mistakes George for her boyfriend Neil, who she claims looks just like him. This is intriguing to George and he really wants to meet Neil. Neil winds up in the hospital after being burned by a crêpe and Danielle chooses him instead of George because she will be taking him to a clinic in England.
Played by: Suzanne Cryer
Appears in The Yada Yada
George’s new girlfriend Marcy likes to say “yada yada yada” to shorten her stories and he becomes suspicious when she told him that her ex-boyfriend had visited her the night before “and yada yada yada, I’m really tired today.”
George suspects that Marcy is using the “yada yada” to cover up sex with her ex-boyfriend, saying “you don’t yada yada sex!” George eventually asks Marcy stop with the “yada yada” and tell him the whole story, but discovers that she has been shoplifting.
Played by: Rena Sofer
Appears in The Muffin Tops
George meets Maryann, a New York Visitor’s Bureau worker, and tells her that he is a tourist visiting from Little Rock, Arkansas. She is interested in him but doesn’t want to get involved, believing he will be leaving New York soon, so to prolong the relationship, he tells her that he’s thinking of moving to New York.
Due to his web of lies, George winds up being traded from the Yankees to Tyler’s Chicken, in return for alcoholic chicken.
Played by: Audrey Kissel
Appears in The Blood
George decides he needs to add food into his sex life when his girlfriend lights some vanilla-scented candles. However, Tara becomes upset when she discovers him eating a pastrami sandwich and watching a portable TV during foreplay. This later becomes a problem for George when he can’t eat anything without becoming aroused.
Played by: Kellie Waymire
Appears in The Blood
George attempts to cover up why Elaine cannot babysit for Vivian’s kid anymore. George first mentions that Elaine is going to live with her grandparents in Redding Pennsylvania. When Vivian doesn’t believe him he confesses that he was covering and that Elaine has actually been deported back to Scotland.
The lies continue… Elaine has been chosen to represent the Upper West Side in the next Biosphere project. George wouldn’t expect Vivian to know about this, since it’s underwater. But, it’s all for charity, so what’s the difference.
George and Vivian connect over their love of pastrami, which is of course the most sensual of all the salted cured meats.
Played by: Laurie Taylor-Williams
Appears in The Junk Mail
When it is revealed to George that his parents have grown tired of his antics and they are cutting him loose, George is not ready for the abandonment. In an attempt to get his parents attention back, George plans to date his cousin Rhisa, planning to have his parents catch him making out with her. Unfortunately, she’s into the relationship.
Played by: Julia Pennington
Appears in The Merv Griffin Show
George’s girlfriend Miranda becomes upset when George runs over some pigeons with his car. George tries to explain to her that pigeons and humans have a deal, pigeons move out of the way when humans approach, and humans will look the other way on the statue defecation.
Played by: Justine Miceli
Appears in The Betrayal
George is interested in one of Jerry’s old girlfriends who he never slept because there was never an awkward pause, during which he could make a move. So George asks Jerry to call Nina about setting them up on a date. When Nina comes over to talk about George, they suffer an awkward pause in their conversation and have sex on Jerry’s counter.
George invites Nina on a disastrous trip to India for a wedding when it is revealed that Nina doesn’t like George and only accompanied him for the free trip.
Played by: Tracy Nelson
Appears in The Cartoon
Elaine and Kramer make a comment that George’s new girlfriend looks a lot like Jerry, causing George to be concerned that he is secretly in love with Jerry. When Janet gets chewing gum stuck in her hair she cuts cuts it real short and now looks exactly like Jerry. George decides to take a few days off from his “relationship” with Jerry.
Appear in The Strongbox
George is dating Maura, but no matter what he says she refuses to break up with him, “It’s like… launching missiles from a submarine. Both of us have to turn our keys.” In order to get Maura upset enough to break up with him, he tries to cheat on her with Loretta, a secretary at Kruger Industrial Smoothing.
George attempts to be caught in the act with Loretta, but unfortunately, both women agree that they can work it out with him through this incident..